As a last resource
by faith-in-Faith
Summary: Everybody needs a last resource and Dean Winchester is no exception.... The story starts when the boys are little and leading up today, OC invloved, but no siblings or lovers.
1. Prologe

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the supernatural characters; just borrow them for my story. I do, however, own my own characters Billy, Miriam and their kid.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: OK, I think I better just admit it right away; this is a story I'm very nervous about. I'm not usually writing stuff like this and I don't know if the plot is good enough…. But I'm hoping and my good friend Wine says it works so I'm praying she's right…. You might think this chapter has too little Dean and Sam in it, but just give Billy a chance – he's a real nice guy, ;) and I promise it will be more Dean and Sam centric in the next chapters; OK? So please, read and review!

Thanks and a lot of credit goes to Wine-in-to- water and Boscobrain for helping me deal with the plot and my nervousness. You guys are the best! And thanks to my faithful beta JOEY! who never let me down. I would be lost without you!

**AS A LAST RESOURCE**

Miriam awoke with a gasp, cold sweat making her t-shirt stick to her back. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before sitting up in bed. Looking over at Billy, who was sleeping peacefully, she sighed and bit her lip. She knew she had to wake him up and she hated it. As a hunter, Billy rarely got a full night's sleep and the fact that one of her visions would cause him to lose another one was plain depressing.

She sighed again and tiredly ran her hand over her black hair. She had had visions since she was twelve and now, six years later, she knew how to handle them, but they still affected her life and the life of those around her. She considered herself lucky, though, because the fact that both Billy and his father were hunters had made her life easier and less awkward. They understood her powers and didn't make a big deal of it. It was just another part of their life – their reality – a strange reality, but a reality nonetheless. She loved Billy to no end. He was fun, loving, caring and devoted and – at only eighteen-years-old – he was one of the best hunters in the states. That she knew for a fact.

But most importantly; he worshiped the ground she walked on, even though she was a psychic. And nothing seemed to be able to change that. Not even the fact that he not only became a father at the age of sixteen, but also had to deal with the fact that the same demon that had killed Miriam's mother, and driven her father to suicide, had come for his own son – which probably meant the kid was a psychic, too. At least that was what Billy's father said. There was no way to tell yet, though – the boy was only two – but Miriam knew in her heart that her former guardian, now father-in-law, was right.

Nothing about it seemed to bother Billy, though. He just made sure to keep them safe. Miriam could still remember the night the fire demon came for Sean. How Billy had heard her scream and how he had appeared in the doorway with his shotgun, fired one shot, grabbed Sean from the crib and lunged at Miriam, making all three of them to go through the window. They both had to spend weeks in the hospital, but they had survived – all three of them – and if Miriam hadn't loved Billy beyond reason before, she definitely did after that. Especially since he immediately made sure to rent another little house for them to live in – instead of the one that burned down.

Miriam's father had been a hunter, too, and Billy's father was his partner. After her parents died Billy's father took care of her, which meant she had spent her whole childhood in a never ending parade of dirty motels, hunting things. And it had left her with a desperate wish to offer her own kid something else, something normal. Well, as normal it could get considering that his father was a hunter and his mother a psychic and that the fire demon wanted him. And Billy understood that, without her having to tell him. When she had asked him to settle down and hunt from a home base instead of cruising through the country, he just nodded in agreement and asked her to pick a place, although it meant he could hunt less.

Billy stirred beside her and she took the opportunity to run her hand through his curly hair.

"Billy."

He lend into her touch. "Hmm."

Miriam smiled. "Come on, Billy. Wake up."

Billy's eyebrows knighted together and then he opened his eyes – immediately alert. "Miriam. Why are you awake? Is something wrong?" Sitting up to get a better look at her, he gently lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes. "Another vision?"

Miriam nodded wordlessly. Billy lay back down and groaned. "Oh, man. Don't tell me I have to get up and drive to some freaking hell-hole on the other side of the country."

Miriam suppressed a chuckle and ran her hand through his hair again. "No, you don't. We actually have some time this time, and it's only about thirty miles from here."

Billy sat up again. "What is it about this time?"

"You have to save two kids."

"From what?"

"A spirit."

Billy groaned again. "Wonderful! How old are they?"

"Ten and six."

"Parents?"

Miriam sat her jaw. "None present at the moment. That's why they need you."

Billy eyed her carefully. "You know exactly who those kids are, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"And?" he coaxed gently.

"Dean and Sam Winchester."

Billy stared at her. "John Winchester's kids?"

Miriam nodded.

"You gotta be kidding me!"

She shook her head.

Billy rubbed his face and sighed. "Do you have any idea how freaky that guy is? I mean, he's not normal. He even threatened to shoot Dad once."

"I know. I was there," Miriam said softly.

"Yeah. Right. So, he really left them alone, huh? Isn't that Sam kid a psychic, too?"

Miriam nodded. "Probably, since the fire demon wanted him, but John expects Dean to keep him safe."

"He expects a ten-year-old to do that? He's a kid himself, for God's sake!"

"Yeah."

Billy shook his head in disbelief. "I knew he was freaky but that's just plain wrong!"

"I know, and that's why Dean needs your help. And John can't really help it. The grief has made him lose focus on what's important," Miriam replied softly.

Billy snorted. "'Lose focus.' Gotta be the understatement of the year! You realize he's gonna be pissed as hell because we interfered with his business, right?"

"I know, but if you get there in time, he will never know."

"OK, just tell me where, when and what to expect."

"It will happen in approximately 23 hours and…."

Miriam continued to bring Billy up to speed and at the same time, thirty miles away, Dean Winchester looked out the window and shivered. Something was wrong, very wrong. He could feel it, but he didn't know what to do about it and, not for the first time, he wished his father would come back soon….

TBC….


	2. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: Do not own anything Supernatural related. But I do own my own characters.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: OK, I know it took like for ever but here's some more of this story. :) And there's more to come as soon as I get it beta read. Thanks to all the people who reviewed and BIG thanks to Wine-into-water for listen to my endless ramblings about this and to Bee for liking it and finally to Joey, my awesome Beta:) Please continue to read and review:)

CHAPTER ONE

Billy pressed down the accelerator of his blue Ford mustang, nervously chewing on his lower lip, a bad habit his father hated and had threaten to shoot him for more than once. He felt an urge to get there as soon as possible, although Miriam had reassured him he had plenty of time, and Miriam was always right. Her abilities were great and Billy loved her and trusted her to no end, but something about this made him nervous as hell. Probably because there were kids involved. He hated when kids got in the way of the supernatural. It just wasn't right. Kids needed to be innocent in order to enjoy their childhood, and once they had experienced something supernatural, it was all over. They could never go back to being kids again – not completely. Billy knew all about that. He couldn't remember a time when he was a child. No scratch that, an innocent child. He didn't remember when the fire demon took Miriam's mother, since he'd been only five months himself at the time. But he remembered – with painful clarity – the demon that had killed his own mother when he was six and he remembered how Miriam had found her father hanging from the ceiling only two days later. Miriam's father had left a note claiming that no matter what they did, the evil would take them eventually and that hunting had no point.

Billy's father had been furious. His family had been hunters for three generations and in his world there was no such thing as "no point," and to say that the evil would win was like spitting on everything they believed in. Not to mention that Miriam's father had left her completely without family. From that day it was Billy, Miriam and Billy's dad, alone on the road, hunting. Both Billy and Miriam were brought up to be hunters but, unlike John Winchester, Seth Masters never forgot that they were only kids, and through the years he tried really hard to give them something like a childhood, although, given the circumstances, it wasn't that easy. Especially not when they discovered Miriam was psychic. But he tried, and for that Billy loved him. There had been much left to wish for, though, so when Miriam asked Billy to settle down he didn't argue or questioned her motives. He knew what she was trying to accomplish for their son. He knew normal would never be an option for his kids – and, yes he wanted more than one. The family business and the fact that their mother was a psychic made it impossible but, just like Miriam, he was determined to make it happen and he was definitely going to give his kids a better childhood than Sam and Dean Winchester had. Not that that was hard at all, but still….

Sean deserved so much. Sean deserved everything. The thought of his baby boy brought a smile to Billy's face. He adored his son and he knew he would do anything for that kid. When Miriam told him she was pregnant he hadn't been thrilled. Actually, he had thought it was a mistake, a _big_ mistake, and he could still remember the pain from the blow on his jaw that had told him his father had thought the same. It was the first and only time Seth had ever laid a hand on his son and Billy knew he had deserved it. He had been irresponsible and the consequences had been great. Great in every meaning of the word, because Sean was great and Billy never thought of him as a mistake anymore, a blessing was more like it. And the memory of how close they'd come to losing him made Billy feel sick. He'd never forget the day he found that damn fire demon in their bedroom. He still had trouble believing that they had all come out of it alive, and sometimes he woke up and just stood there and looked at his girl and his son, the two true miracles in his life. And he knew that no matter what it took, he'd always do everything in his power to keep them safe.

A sign at the side of the road, told him he had reached his destination and he forced away the thoughts of his own life to be able to focus on the people who needed his help – Sam and Dean Winchester. He felt dread inside, fearing what he would have to face. The fact that Miriam said he would get there in time didn't make him feel any better, because that didn't necessarily mean he would arrive in time to avoid any damage. It just meant that he was in time to be able to play the part that was meant for him, which usually meant preventing a total disaster. Billy guessed that was good enough, but sometimes he wished he could stop bad things from happening at all – just once.

He found the motel and parked the car. Miriam had said it was room 25 and that the problem was a spirit. How that would even be possible was beyond him, because even if John Winchester was a moron, he had kept himself and his boys alive way too long to not know how to protect himself.

Billy carefully walked up to the door and took out his EMF. The readings got through the roof and he nodded grimly. This definitely was the right place. He cocked his shotgun and carefully used his skeleton key to pick the lock open. Bloody waste of time if you asked him, but Miriam had said it was important that John never found out about this and the memories of the shotgun aimed at his father had made Billy agree. He was here to save the poor kids – not getting them into more trouble. He took a deep breath and flung the door open. The first thing he saw was a little boy flying across the room, hitting the far wall with a crash. From what Miriam had told Billy he knew the kid was now unconscious but in no immediate danger, so instead he scanned the room for the other boy. He found him between the beds, pinned against the wall, from the force of the spirit or sheer terror, Billy couldn't tell, but he knew one thing. He would only get one chance.

So, trusting his hunter instincts he yelled, "Sammy, drop and roll!" and prayed to the God he wasn't even sure he believed in, that John Winchester had been smart enough to teach his kids the most important move in hunting.

The spirit turned towards the disturbance and when Billy saw Sam drop to the floor, he fired and the spirit disappeared. Billy quickly moved over and closed and locked the door, before putting up a protecting salt circle around it. Then he walked over to the window and fixed the broken salt circle beneath it. The disturbance looked suspiciously like a little foot and it explained everything. John had been taking precautions, all right, but he hadn't counted on a little boy longing for his father, or being afraid of the dark outside….

Billy turned toward Sam. "Are there any other doors or windows?"

The little boy shook his head, his eyes big and dark with fear.

Billy smiled his most reassuring smile, the one he saved for victims of supernatural attacks. "Good."

He went over to Dean and kneeled down beside him. He didn't need to check for a pulse because Miriam had assured him the boy would be OK, and Billy could see the slow, but steady rise and fall of the little boy's chest. Tenderly, Billy brushed some of the fine blond hair away from Dean's face and winced when he saw the big lump, already surrounded by a big, ugly looking bruise.

"Please don't hurt him!"

The high-pitched, tear-filled cry from behind him made Billy's heart clench.

He pulled Dean into his embrace and carefully stood up. Walking across the room, he gently laid the boy down on the closest bed, then he crouched down in front of Sam, who watched with frighten eyes.

"You don't have to be afraid, Sammy. I'm a friend. My name is Billy and I'm a hunter, too – just like your father."

"Billy the kid," Sam's breathed, eyes widening slightly.

Billy smiled. "The one and only, kiddo. So you know who I am?"

Sam nodded, his eyes still wide and an expression on his face that looked like something between worship and disbelief. "Dean has told me everything about you. He's says you're the best and coolest hunter ever, almost a superhero. But Dad thinks you're an idiot," he added, almost like an afterthought.

Billy's smile widened to a grin. "Well, what can I say? Not everybody loved Superman either. But your brother seems like a smart kid. I bet he's an awesome brother."

Sam's eyes lit up and he smiled brightly. "He is. He's the best. He can do almost anything."

"I bet he can," Billy answered softly, touched by the admiration Sam held for his brother.

Sam's eyes drifted to Dean on the bed and his expression quickly changed to one of concern and fear. "Is he gonna be OK?"

Billy shot the boy on the bed a quick glance and prayed that his assumption that Miriam couldn't be wrong wouldn't come back and kick his ass. "Yeah, he's gonna be just fine."

"You think so?"

"No, I know so."

Sam stared doubtfully at him. "How can you know?"

"Because my girlfriend said so and she knows everything."

"She knows Dean?"

The confusion on Sam's face was obvious and Billy cursed inside. He should have known the boy didn't know anything about psychics.

"No, she doesn't. But she sees things that are about to happen, like in a dream. And she saw that you guys were in trouble, but that everything will be fine."

"So she's a witch?"

Billy couldn't help but laugh. The thought of Miriam as a witch was hilarious. "Something like that." He stood up and held out his hand. "Come on. Let's try to wake him up."

Sam ignored his hand, but quickly got up from the floor and climbed into the bed next to Dean. Billy sat down on the other side and carefully tapped Dean's cheek.

"Dean? Dean?"

There was no reaction and Billy swallowed hard as he tapped the boy's face harder. "Come on, Dean. It's time to wake up."

Still no reaction and Billy felt fear and panic well up inside. Something wasn't right. What if Miriam was wrong this time? What if something was seriously wrong with John Winchester's little toy solider?

"Why isn't he waking up? You said he'd be OK." The fear in Sam's voice and the tears in his big brown eyes made Billy choke.

This was not how things were supposed to turn out. Miriam had said things would turn out fine and Miriam was always right. The thought of Miriam's green eyes comforted him and gave him his faith back.

"How about you try? Maybe he will wake up if someone he knows asks him to. He doesn't know me, you know. Maybe he doesn't think it's safe to wake up."

"But you're a friend."

"Dean doesn't know that."

"Yes, he does! You're his hero."

"I know, but he doesn't know it's me. We haven't met. A few minutes ago you thought I was dangerous, too."

Sam frowned in concentration while he pondered the thought and then he nodded in agreement.

"Dean? Dean, please wake up," he said, carefully patting Dean with a small, chubby hand.

Still no response and Sam looked up at Billy, his eyes filled with unshed tears. "It isn't working."

"Try again," Billy replied in an encouraging voice.

Sam tapped Dean's cheek once more. "Please wake up, Dean. If you do, you can meet Billy the kid. He's here, you know. He saved us – just like a real superhero. Please, Dean. You're scaring me."

The last words were thick with tears and it was like Sam's distress was what finally got Dean to make it to the surface.

A look of pain crossed his face as he fought to open his eyes. "Sammy?"

Billy smiled in relief. Miriam had been right – again.

"That's it, Dean. Open your eyes and look at us," he coaxed, gently squeezing the little boy's knee.

The sound of a foreign voice made Dean's eyes fly open and he frantically tried to move away from Billy's touch.

Billy quickly stood up and held up his hands in surrender, to show that he was unarmed. "Easy, kid. I'm not gonna hurt you."

Sam leaned close to Dean, blocking the sight of Billy. "It's OK. He's not dangerous. It's just Billy the kid."

Dean's eyes grew wide. "Billy the kid?"

Sam grinned. "Yeah, he came to rescue us. His girlfriend knew we were in trouble because she's a witch."

"Sammy, please," Dean moaned. "I told you, you have to stop making up stories and this is no time for games. This is serious."

"I'm not making it up! He is Billy the kid! He said so himself," Sam yelled indignantly.

Dean closed his eyes, the pain evident on his face.

Billy moved closer and picked Sam up, putting him on his lap as he careful sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Dean," Billy said, making sure to keep his voice low and comforting. The boy immediately opened his eyes, the gaze in them betraying how scared he was. "You don't have to be afraid. Sammy is telling the truth. I am Billy the kid and I came here only to save you because Miriam, my girl – who is s psychic – told me you needed me. I know you know who I am and that I'm a friend. Actually, I also happen to know you think I'm pretty cool."

The look in the boy's eyes that had changed from fear, to relief, to admiration during Billy's speech was now one of embarrassment that matched his blushing cheeks.

"Sammy," he groaned.

"What? I just told him the truth," Sammy stated innocently.

"It's OK, Dean. I think you're pretty cool, too, and as a matter of fact so does Sam. Right, Sammy?"

Sam grinned happily. "You're an awesome brother!"

Dean smiled weakly and licked his lips. "What happened?"

"A spirit."

Dean looked confused. "But I don't get it…."

"The salt circle by the window was broken."

Dean swallowed hard. "Dad's gonna kill me."

"No, he's not because he's never gonna know about this. Right, Sammy?"

Sam stared at him and asked fearfully, "Are we gonna lie to Dad?"

Billy nodded gravely.

"But isn't it wrong to tell a lie?"

Billy closed his eyes and tried not to think of how wrong this was, but necessity knows no law….

"Yes it is, but sometimes you have to lie to protect someone you love."

Sam looked utterly confused. "But…."

"It's OK, Sammy. You don't have to lie. It will be OK," Dean reassured him and closed his eyes again.

It was obvious to Billy that the poor kid was in pain and he started to get worried again. Once again, he brushed away the fine blond hair from Dean's forehead to get a better look at the bump and asked, "How are you feeling kid?"

"I'm fine."

"Come on, Dean. We both know that's not true and since I practically saved your life, I think I deserve the truth."

"Head hurts a lot," Dean admitted quietly.

"I bet it does. You probably have a concussion. You feeling nauseous, too?"

"A little."

Sam titled his head back, trying to look at Billy as he asked, "Is he gonna be OK?"

Billy sighed inwardly. He had to leave soon and the idea of Sam being the only one to look after Dean – who most likely had a bad concussion – was not appealing, but he didn't have a choice and, again, Miriam had promised it would be all right.

So, for the second time that night, he put on his most reassuring smile and answered, "He's gonna be just fine, because you're gonna help him and take care of him."

"I am?"

The look of total confusion on Sam's face confused Billy. Maybe the kid wasn't as smart as Billy initially had thought.

He smiled gently. "Yes, you are."

"But…."

"But what?" Billy asked and shifted Sam in his lap so he could look into his eyes.

"Dad says only cowards and weak people need help and Dean is nothing like that. He's an awesome brother. You said so yourself."

Billy took a deep breath and tried to quell the anger inside him. Of all the stupid, screwed up things he had heard people say over the years this came out on top. John Winchester was an even bigger moron than Billy had thought. What kind of freak taught his kids things like that?

"Look, Sammy. I'm sure you love your father and that he teaches you a lot of useful stuff, like the drop and roll thing you did so good earlier, but he's wrong on this one. Very wrong."

Sam looked at him in astonishment. "He is?"

Billy nodded gravely.

Once again Sam looked confused. "But Dad is never wrong."

"Yeah, he is. Everybody is wrong sometimes and now I'm going to tell you something very important so I want you to listen and listen good, OK?"

Sam nodded.

"And you, too, Dean."

"Yes, sir."

Billy cringed. "Don't call me sir. I'm just Billy to you. We're mates remember?"

Dean smiled slightly. "OK"

"All right, this is how it works. Everybody needs help sometimes – everybody."

"Even you?" Sam asked in disbelief.

Billy smiled. "Even me. You see, it's all about team-work."

"Team-work?" The confusion was back in Sam's eyes.

"Team-work means that two or more people are working together, Sammy," Dean explained in a tired voice.

"Oh."

Billy couldn't help but smile at the little boy. He could almost see the wheels turning in Sam's head.

"So you and Dean are a team, OK? He's your team-mate."

"My friend?"

Billy nodded. "Yeah, that's right. And team-mates always help each other out and protect each other and that way they get stronger."

"Really?" Sam asked, not yet entirely convinced.

"Really. And Dean takes care of you, right?"

Sam nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, and he's really good at it, too."

In the corner of his eye, Billy saw Dean roll his eyes and Billy suppressed a smile.

"Well, that's great, but right now Dean is hurt and can't do that, but since you're a team, you have to take care of him for a change. Do you think you can do that?"

Sam looked hesitant. "I don't know. I'm pretty small. Can't you stay until Dad gets back?"

Billy tousled Sam's hair. "Sorry, kiddo. I have some bones to salt and burn, and I don't think your Dad would be happy if he came back and found me here. He thinks I'm an idiot, remember?"

"I guess you're right," Sam said downheartedly.

"It's gonna be OK, Sammy," Dean said quietly. "I think you and I gonna be an excellent team."

Sam's eyes lit up. "You think so."

"Yeah."

Sam turned back to Billy, his eyes serious. "OK, tell me what to do."

"First we need an explanation to why Dean hurt his head."

"Sammy and I wrestled on the couch and I fell and hit my head on the table."

Sam eyed him sceptically. "He's gonna get mad."

"Not as mad as he would if we tell him I let a spirit inside."

"It will have to do," Billy decided. "At least it sounds believable. Can you remember that, Sammy?"

"Sure, it's an easy one."

"Good. Now I'm gonna tell you how to take care of Dean. I want you to listen carefully, because it's important that you remember everything, OK?"

Sam nodded, his eyebrows knitted together in concentration.

"Dean hit his head hard so you have to wake him up every hour to make sure he isn't sleeping too hard. Do you know how to tell time?"

"Yeah. Dean taught me last year."

"Good, good. If you can't wake him up you have to call the ambulance. Do you know the number?"

"911," came the quick reply.

"Good, do you know what to say?"

"I'm Samuel Winchester and I need and an ambulance to Rosa's motel, room number 25, because my brother hit his head and won't wake up."

"Very good, Sammy!"

Sam smiled happily. "Dean taught me."

"Well, like I said before, he's an awesome brother."

Sam's smile widened to a grin.

Then he turned serious. "But Dad's gonna get angry if I call 911. He says we need to stay away from the hospital."

"Not if Dean isn't waking up. Then he wants you to call an ambulance."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure." _And if doesn't, I'll hunt him down and kick his ass._

"OK."

"Good. Dean's not supposed to move around much so you have to bring him things he asks for, OK?"

Sammy nodded again.

Billy stood up and put Sam down on the bed next to Dean and fetched the wastebasket. "I put this here in case you get sick."

"OK," Dean answered.

Billy caught Sam's eyes again. "And if he does, you go'll and get a damp towel and wipe his face, OK?"

Another small nod.

Billy sucked in a breath. "Well guys, I think that's all – except the obvious." He looked expectantly at Sam. "Don't let anyone but Dad in and not without a pass word," Sam rambled.

"And shoot first, ask questions later," Dean added wearily.

Billy nodded. "Good. Keep the shotgun close to the bed."

Dean nodded and Billy could tell from the pain on Dean's face that he regretted the movement. He bent over and ran his hand over the boy's hair. "Take care, Dean. And if you ever need me, just call anyone of your father's contacts and leave a message. They will know where to find me, OK?"

The gratefulness in Dean's eyes made Billy so upset he wanted to hit something. How could anyone in their right mind put this much responsibility on a ten-year-old, but John Winchester was nuts so Billy guessed it explained the whole thing. But it didn't make him feel any better. It made him feel worse.

Billy straightened up and turned to Sam. "Bye, Sammy. Take care of your brother now."

"Yes, sir."

Billy raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, Billy," Sam corrected himself with a grin.

Billy grinned back and then went over to the door to leave. He stopped on the threshold and said, "And don't forget you're a team."

Then he closed the door and prayed to God that the kids inside would be all right.

-------

Billy raked both hands through his already messy hair as he paced the length of the kitchen floor like a caved animal.

"I can't believe I just left them there!" he said for the fifth time in ten minutes.

"Billy," Miriam said soothingly. "You didn't have a choice."

He stopped and stared at her. "I didn't have a choice? Oh, yes, I had a choice. I could have taken them back with me. You and I could have raised them."

"No, Billy. We couldn't," came the patient reply.

"Why not? We're already raising one. Two more wouldn't have made any difference. They are good kids, Miriam. Really good. They wouldn't have been a bother."

Miriam's heart broke for him. She could see and feel his frustration and despair and she wished she could take it all away, wished she could let him have it his way. But it was impossible and she knew it. Now she needed a way to make Billy see it, too.

"I know that, Billy. But that's not the point. You know we couldn't just have taken them. John Winchester would never have let them go without a fight."

"A fight he wouldn't have had a chance in hell of winning. I would have killed him in a heartbeat!"

"I know you would have," Miriam replied quietly. "But that wouldn't have solved anything. Do you really think Sam and Dean would love someone who had killed their father? They adore that man. You said so yourself."

All fight left Billy and he sank down onto one of the kitchen chairs. He rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands, desperately tugging at his hair as he whispered, "But they were so afraid, so lonely, so controlled…. Especially Dean…. God, I can't believe I just walked out of there, leaving him in the care of a six-year-old. What if he slips into a coma?"

Miriam carefully ran her fingers through his hair. "He won't. He will be OK."

Billy looked up at her, desperation shining in his eyes. "Promise."

"I promise."

"I can't believe we can't take him."

"It's not meant to be, Billy. Not yet."

"Not yet? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is he gonna suffer until God, or whatever moron who runs this show, decides it's time?"

Miriam nodded. "Something like that."

Billy stood up and started pacing again. "I can't believe this! He's alone and scared, Miriam! How the hell can God allow that?"

Miriam stood up and grabbed his arms. "Billy, listen to me! We all have a place we have to be in this world, a mission we're supposed to accomplish, and Dean's mission is to stay with Sam."

"We would have taken Sam, too. We would have protected them both."

"I know, but that's not how it's meant to be – not yet, anyway."

"Why not?"

Miriam sighed. "I don't know."

Billy closed his eyes as a single tear slipped down his cheek. "But I don't want him to be alone, Miriam. Not ever."

Miriam pulled him into a hug. "I know that, Billy, but he isn't alone anymore."

"He's not?"

"No, you told him how to find you if he ever needed you, right?"

"Yeah, but-"

Miriam put her index finger to his lips to silence him. "Then he isn't alone. You have given him a last resource and that's all a person needs in order to survive – the knowledge that there's a way out."

Billy held her gaze for the longest time before he buried his head in her hair and whispered, "I just wish we could do something more."

Miriam held him tight and whispered back. "So do I. So do I."

TBC…..


	3. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: Do not own the boys or the Supernatural plot. Just my own characters, Billy and his family.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Another chapter is here. Even a bit faster than the last time. I hope you will enjoy it. Thanks a lot for the kind reviews. They mean a lot to me, so please continue to leave them….

Thanks goes, as usually, to my amazing beta Joey and to Bee for her endless support.

CHAPTER TWO

Miriam bolted straight up in bed, gasping for air. The terror of the nightmare still had a firm hold on her and she slowly shook her head in order to clear it, trying to make sense of the things she'd seen.

"Shit!" Her eyes widened in fear when the realization hit her.

She hadn't had a nightmare. She had had a vision. A very bad one.

"Billy! Billy, wake up!" She reached over and shook him hard, desperation clear in her voice.

The hunter in Billy reacted to the fear in her voice and with one swift movement; he was out of bed, shotgun aimed at the door.

When he realized no one else was in the room, he tossed the shotgun away and kneeled down on the bed in front her, tenderly putting his hand on her cheek.

"Miriam, what's wrong?"

Miriam gripped his upper arms hard, almost causing him to fall over her, her green eyes filled with fear.

"Dean! Oh, God, Billy. Dean!"

Billy's breath caught in his throat. "What, Miriam? What? What's wrong with Dean?" he demanded, shaking her slightly in order to get her to snap out of the fear from her vision that obviously still partly trapped her mind.

Miriam let go of him and stood up. "He's in danger. He needs you. You gotta go now!"

Billy stood up as well, walking around the bed to face her. "I will, Miriam. I will. But I can't do anything if you don't calm down and tell me where to go and what's going on."

Miriam took a deep breath and ran her hand over her face. "Sorry, I just…."

Billy pulled her into his embrace, tenderly stroking her hair. "It's OK. Just tell me what you saw and I'll fix it."

Miriam broke free. "But that's the catch, Billy. I don't know if you can get there in time to fix this."

"OK. That's it! Tell me, Miriam, and tell me now!"

Miriam ran a shaky hand through her hair. "There isn't much to tell, Billy. Dean is going to be, or already is, seriously hurt and you need to go there and try to help him."

"Where? And what the hell happened?" Billy spat impatiently.

Miriam swallowed hard and closed her eyes, trying to remember what she had seen in her dream. "It's not very clear, but strangely enough it's the same town as last time."

"I really hate that place," Billy murmured.

"I can't see for sure what we're dealing with, but I think it's some kind of spirit. It's in an abandoned house about twenty minutes outside the town. And they're both hurt. Sam's OK, but Dean is bad off, really bad."

"And?" Billy coaxed.

"I'm sorry. I can't see anything else."

"Nothing? What kind of crappy vision is this?"

"I'm sorry, Billy. But it's not like any of my usually visions. I'm not even sure it's a vision. I think what I see, is Sam's fear."

"Sam's fear? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are your minds connected somehow?"

Miriam nodded. "He's a psychic, too, remember?"

"We don't know that for sure."

Miriam just looked at him.

"But if you're connected, why can't you see anything else?"

"Because Sam can't control his abilities. He probably doesn't even know he has them, so he can't focus."

Billy tugged at his hair. "Great. Just great!"

"Billy! Please! If you're gonna have even the slightest chance of saving him you gotta go now!"

"OK, OK." Billy started to get dressed.

"Where's their dad anyway? Why isn't he helping them?" he asked as he checked his shotgun and his knife.

Miriam closed her eyes. She had hoped he wouldn't ask, because she knew he wasn't going to like the answer.

"He isn't there. They're hunting on their own. He's testing their independency."

Billy stared at her, looking so angry that if she didn't know him so well, she'd be scared. "Come again."

"You heard me."

"He sent them out alone? He sent Dean out there with a twelve year old as a back up? I'm gonna kill him!" Billy yelled furiously.

"Billy, please! You're waking up the kids!" Miriam exclaimed, and walked over to the crib in the corner of the room to pick up the little boy, who had started to cry. "Shh, Simon. It' OK," she whispered soothingly.

"Sorry," Billy murmured regretfully.

"Dad? What's going on? Why are you so angry at Mom?"

Both Miriam and Billy turned around and found Sean standing in the doorway, sleepily rubbing his eyes.

Billy took a deep, calming breath and kneeled down in front of his son. "It's OK, Sean. Dad isn't angry with Mom. I'm angry with another man."

"What has he done?"

"Left his kids alone."

"Oh," Sean said and nodded knowingly, like it explained everything. "Do you have to go and help them?"

Billy nodded. "Yeah."

"OK." Sean put his arms around Billy's neck and hugged him tightly. "Bye, Dad. Be careful."

Billy hugged him back and whispered, "Always."

"Billy," Miriam said quietly.

He turned and looked at her. "Yeah?"

"You gotta take Seth with you. You can't do this on your own."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

Billy closed his eyes briefly. "But I can't leave you here alone with the kids. You're due in less than a month."

Miriam smiled warmly at him. "Don't worry. Pregnant or not, I can still kick ass if needed."

Billy tried to smile back, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"We will be OK, Billy. I promise," Miriam said softly.

He took a deep breath. "OK."

A tug on his hand made him turn around. "What, Sean?"

"I'll look after Mom and Simon for you."

Billy tousled the boy's hair. "I know you will, kiddo. I know you will."

Then he put on his black leather coat and collected his gear, gently kissing his youngest son on the top of the head before giving Miriam a kiss and a quick pat on her belly. "OK, I'm out of here."

"Be careful."

"Always."

Miriam listened to his steps fading away and the front door close before she turned to her sons. "Come on, boys. Let's go to bed."

Sean nodded and crawled into his parents' bed, reaching out for his baby brother. Miriam put Simon down beside him, put out a fresh salt circle around the door and made sure her gun was under her pillow, before joining them. The boys fell asleep almost immediately – used to their father leaving in the middle of the night. But Miriam lay awake for the longest time, rubbing her belly, trying to calm the baby inside her, who kicked anxiously, feeling her mother's fear, as she prayed that Billy and his father would be there in time to save Dean.

"You know what, Billy? Maybe I should drive?" Seth said casually when Billy pressed down even harder on the accelerator.

Billy tossed him a quick glance. "What the hell for?"

"Because you're gonna get us both killed if you keep driving like a mad man."

Billy set his jaw. "Miriam said we had to hurry. We don't have much time. As a matter of fact, we don't even know if we have any time at all. He could already be dead."

Seth sighed and bit back the sarcastic comment he had on his tongue, the one saying that in that case, they didn't have to hurry at all. He had spent a lot of time over the years dealing with his son's temper and – after twenty-four years – he knew better than to mess with Billy when he was this upset.

"Well, we won't be much help to him if we're dead, will we?"

Billy shot him another glare but slowed down a bit.

There was a moment of silence before Billy murmured, "I just can't believe it."

"Believe what?" Seth asked carefully.

"That he let Dean go hunting on his own. He's just a kid, God damn it!"

"He's sixteen, isn't he?"

"Yeah, and your point is?"

"When you were sixteen you were already a father and had been hunting with me since you were twelve. You were hardly a kid and neither is Dean."

"Maybe not, but there's one big difference here, Dad, I had you to back me up – you and Miriam. John sent Dean out there with a twelve year old as a back up. A twelve year old!"

"Maybe Sam is an excellent hunter. After all, he is a psychic. His gifts would help."

Billy snorted. "I highly doubt it. If he is a psychic, and none of us know that for sure, then he doesn't even know it. Miriam said the signals she picked up were too weak to be from someone who could focus on their abilities. The only reason she picked them up at all is because _she_ is so damn good!"

Seth sighed. Billy was right. This was incredible stupid, cruel and irresponsible, even for John Winchester. Seth had never agreed with the way John raised his boys. It was way too cruel and uncaring, and over the years, Seth had been more and more convinced that John was about to lose it completely. That he had forgotten that Sam and Dean were kids. John Winchester didn't raise kids. He trained soldiers. And every hunter Seth knew disagreed with his methods – even the ones who were John's friends. Seth wasn't one of them, mostly by John's choice; still their sons seemed deeply connected.

Billy didn't get this upset about just anything or anyone. Billy was the kind of person who took things in stride and that was what made him such a good hunter. The only one Seth knew who could get Billy this much off balance was Miriam – Miriam and Sean. But now Dean could, too, and Seth didn't care to think of what that meant, because lately the signs he had seen had frightened him.

They were all telling him that they were heading toward something big – some kind of final battle. A battle that he and the people close to him would be very much involved in. Miriam was a psychic and not just any psychic. She had great abilities. According to Missouri, kids like Miriam weren't born more than once every 100 years – which in their world wasn't a good thing. Sean was a psychic, too. Seth was sure of it – no matter how much Billy tried to deny it. Seth knew it mostly because he could tell that Miriam knew. She had probably seen it in a vision, and Seth knew that if a psychic and a hunter got a psychic kid it was bound to be powerful and, again, in their world, that was not a good thing.

But what scared Seth the most was that he could tell that Miriam knew something about Sam, too. When he had tried to ask Missouri about it she had told him she couldn't see anything about Sam, other than that he had great abilities, and they both knew what that meant. This was bigger than them. Sean was very special, Miriam was one of a kind that was born only once in a hundred years and only God – and maybe Miriam – knew what kind of powers Sam had. And if God and the universe had decided to connect their protectors as well, then the battle was going to be bad. But he quickly shoved all those thoughts aside. Now wasn't the time to dwell on the future. Now he needed to focus on saving Dean from the supernatural forces and his father, and Billy from himself.

"You're right. He is an idiot, but if we run into him you're gonna act decent. Do you here me?"

"If we run into him I'm gonna kill him," Billy replied darkly.

Seth shook his head and prayed that Dean would be OK, because if he wasn't, John Winchester was a dead man. Seth had no idea how he would be able to stop Billy from killing him and to tell the truth; he wasn't even sure he wanted to.

The car phone interrupted Seth's thoughts. Billy picked it up. "Yeah."

"What's up, Miriam? Something wrong?"

"OK. Yeah, but he's still alive?"

"OK, love you, too. Bye."

Seth looked curiously at his son. "What did Miriam want?"

With his eyes firmly trained on the road, Billy pressed down the accelerator again and said, "She picked up a vibe again. She says that when we get there I have to go straight to Sam because my presence will calm him down and if he's OK, it will make Dean calm down and his heart rate needs to slow down if he's gonna have a chance at making it."

"But he's still alive?"

"Yeah, she thinks so."

"Good," Seth replied, praying that Billy's reckless driving wouldn't kill them before they reached the Winchester boys.

"So this is the place?" Seth asked as he opened the car door.

"According to Miriam, yeah. It's the house down there," Billy answered and pointed down the road.

Seth just nodded in return and took his shotgun out of the trunk, giving Billy a quick glance.

"You ready for this?"

Billy's eyes glimmered in the pale moonlight. "Yeah."

"Billy…."

"I know. He might be dead and then we need to focus on Sam. Believe me, I will. But if Dean is dead, then John Winchester is never going to see either of his boys again. Sam is coming home with me. No arguments."

Seth didn't argue. In his opinion, John Winchester had forfeited his right to take care of those kids years ago. Instead he just said, "Just be careful."

"Always," came the trade-mark reply.

They carefully entered the rundown house, their guard up for whatever haunted this place – the thing that obviously had done a lot of damage already. It didn't take them long to find what they were looking for. In the second room they entered, they could make out two figures in the semi-darkness. One huddled in the corner, one lying on his back a few feet away.

"Sam?" Billy called quietly.

The figure in the corner looked up. "Billy?" His voice was hardly more than a shaky whisper.

"Dad." Billy made a motion with his head toward Dean, making sure Seth went over to him, before he hurried up to Sam and dropped to his knees in front of the terrified boy.

"Billy?" Sam said again, like he couldn't really believe his eyes.

Billy put a comforting hand on the boys shoulder. "Yeah, it's me. You're safe now."

Sam looked at him, his eyes big and dark with fear, reminding Billy a lot of the terrified six-year-old Sam was when they last met. "I wanted you to come. I wished for it," he said in awe.

Billy closed his eyes in agony, vowing to kill John Winchester the next time he saw him, because no kid should ever have to feel this scared and abandoned. "I know. Miriam picked it up."

Sam looked confused. "She did? How?"

"Don't think about that now. Tell me what happen."

"Dean pushed me out of the way. I had it. I was about to shoot it. I was in control. Why did he do it?" Sam asked, his eyes filled with confusion and despair. "I had it, Billy. I swear. Why did he do it? I don't understand."

"I don't know either, Sam. Maybe he saw something you didn't."

"It threw us," he whispered. "Threw us across the room."

"Are you hurt?"

"I think my arm is broken," Sam answered absently, obviously still in shock, since he didn't seem to be feeling any pain. Then his eyes filled with tears. "But, Dean…. He's hurt bad. I think he's dead."

Billy's stomach clenched with the statement. He was itching to go and check on Dean, to makes sure Sam was wrong, but he remembered Miriam's words. The best thing he could do for Dean right now was to stay with Sam and keep him calm, and there was one more thing he needed to know.

"Sam. Is it still here?"

"No, I killed it. I killed it after…Dean didn't move and it came back for us and I just shot it," Sam said, tears spilling down his cheeks. "I don't want him to be dead, Billy. What am I gonna do without him?" he pleaded.

Billy swallowed hard, trying to come up with an answer, but Seth's voice interrupted him.

"Billy! Get over here. Now!"

Billy got up and quickly ran to his father's side. "What?"

"Strip. Both your sweaters," Seth replied shortly. Not even looking up. "He's been stabbed in his side with something, probably a piece of wood, and he's bleeding badly.

"Is it still in there?" Billy asked anxiously, as he took off his sweaters.

"No, but I almost wish it was," Seth answered grimly. "He's bleeding like a pig."

Folding his t-shirt into a square, Billy formed a bandage. Seth placed it over Dean's wound, on top of his own, t-shirt, which was already soaked in blood, and pressed down hard, frowning when Dean didn't even flinch.

Billy swallowed hard, and put his coat back on, knowing exactly how bad it was that Dean didn't react to that kind of abuse.

His father looked up at him for the first time. "Put pressure on it while I secure the bandage with your sweater."

Billy nodded and dropped to his knees, pressing firmly on Dean's side as he helped his father shift Dean from side to side in order to tie the sweater tightly, trying to ignore how still and pale the boy was. Trying to ignore that he looked dead.

"OK, let's get him out of here." Seth said urgently. "I'll take Sam."

Billy nodded and quickly scooped Dean up in his arms, almost as easily as he'd done six years ago, and ran to the car as fast as he could.

Seth and Sam caught up with him when he reached the car and Seth opened the backdoor so Billy could put Dean down, but when he went to climb in after him, Seth put his hand on Billy's shoulder and shook his head. "No, Billy. I need you to drive. Sam, you ride in front, too."

"Come on, Sam," Billy said gently and tried not to think of how bad off Dean had to be if Seth wanted him to drive when he was this upset.

Sam absently followed Billy and got into the passenger's seat. Billy bent over and put on Sam's seat belt before starting the car, because driving carefully was no longer an option. And ten minutes later, when Seth caught his son's eyes in the review mirror and said, "Billy. Step on it!" Billy knew that right now, Dean's life depended on his driving and the mercy of the universe.

"Billy, sit down," Seth said firmly.

Billy stopped in mid step and turned his head slightly, giving his father a glare that clearly said "leave me the hell alone," but Seth caught his son's gaze and added softly, "You're scaring Sam."

Billy looked over at Sam, who was sitting in one of the chairs, looking lost, lonely and very, very scared and he realized that his father was right. Sam was scared. He had every reason to be and Billy was making it worse when he was supposed to be making it better. The only way Billy could help Dean right now was by taking care of Sam for him and he was not doing a great job. He took a deep breath, ran his hand though his hair, and went to sit down next to the boy.

"How you're holding up?"

Sam just shrugged and looked down at the floor.

"Does your arm hurt?" Billy asked, realizing they had already been here for over an hour and no one had bothered to look at Sam's arm. But it was a small hospital and, right now, Dean had the staff's full attention, not to mention that the waiting room already was pretty crowded when they arrived.

"A little," Sam answered quietly, before looking up at Billy, his eyes filled with unshed tears. "He's gonna be OK, right?"

Billy swallowed hard. "I don't know, Sammy. But I hope so."

"You don't know?" The despair in Sam's voice made Billy feel sick. "Why don't you know? Didn't Miriam tell you what she saw?"

"She couldn't see that, Sam. She could only see that you needed help."

"But what if he dies? Then what am I gonna do? Who's gonna take care of me?"

The loneliness and fear in Sam's eyes broke Billy's heart. "Your Dad will," he said soothingly, although it really didn't sound like an appealing option to his ears.

Apparently it didn't to Sam either, because he shook his head and looked down at the floor again. "No, he won't. If Dean dies, Dad's gonna hate me. It was my fault Mom died and Dean is his favourite and if something happened to him because of me, Dad's never gonna forgive me."

"Sam," Billy said sternly. "Look at me."

Sam obediently looked up at him, his cheeks wet with tears. "This was _not _your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening."

"You sure?" Sam's voice was small and begging.

Billy nodded firmly. "Positive."

Sam wiped at the tears with his good hand and sighed. "It doesn't matter. If Dean dies, Dad's gonna hate me anyway. And then I'm gonna be all alone."

The thought made fresh tears run down Sam's cheeks and Billy's desire to kill John Winchester increased tenfold. He quickly took hold of Sam's shoulders, trying to be as gentle as possible, yet firm, to prove his point.

"No, you won't."

Sam looked hopefully at him. "I won't?"

"No you won't. If Dean dies and your father doesn't want you anymore, you're going home with me." _Actually I don't care if he wants you or not. If Dean dies, your dad is never gonna see you again._

"I am?"

The look in Sam's eyes reminded Billy of a stray dog, who had been offered a bone, and it took all he had not to punch the wall in frustration. How the hell could things be this fucked up?

But instead he forced his best smile at Sam and carefully pulled him into a hug. "Yes, you are. You can live with me and my wife. My boys could use a big brother like you."

Seth met Billy's eyes over Sam's head and nodded sadly in approval, silently telling Billy that if things came down to it, he would have Billy's back.

"Big brothers are good to have," Sam said shakily.

Billy swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yes, they are. And Dean is one of the best there is. An awesome brother and a real fighter, so let's not count him out yet, OK?"

A tiny smile played on Sam's lips. "OK."

"Samuel Winchester?"

Both Sam and Billy looked up at the brown-haired nurse, who stood in front of them, a clipboard in her hand.

"Yeah, he's right here," Billy answered calmly.

The nurse smiled. "The doctor will take a look at his arm now. I just need this consent form signed first. You're his legal guardian, right?"

"I am for now," Billy said, flashing her one of his most charming smiles as he took the clipboard and signed the form. It was risky but he had no other option if they wanted to keep social services out if it and, besides, he had already signed the consent form for Dean's surgery.

When they first arrived, Seth had told them Billy was Sam and Dean's uncle and that they stayed with them over the weekend. And that the accident had happened when Sam and Dean decided to go ghost hunting in the old house without permission. A typical boy thing, Seth had said and the nurse had smiled.

"Thank you, Mr. Masters," the nurse said, then hesitated slightly. "I'm sorry, but there's one more thing. I can't find any insurance on Samuel or Dean Winchester."

Billy turned to Sam. "Your old man having trouble holding a job lately? He isn't drinking again, is he?" he said reproachfully, praying that Sam would be smart enough to play along.

And Sam didn't disappoint him as he shrugged his shoulders slightly and murmured, "It's not that bad. He's trying. He really is."

"I can't believe it!" Billy said angrily, not even needing to play that part. John Winchester might not be a drunken bastard but he is a bastard never-the-less.

"Give him a break, Billy. He's not having an easy life," Seth said as he caught Billy's gaze, warning him not to take it too far.

Billy blew out a breath and flashed the nurse another smile as he took out his wallet and handed her his credit card. "Sorry, family issues. You can use this. Will it be OK?"

She smiled warmly. "It will be prefect."

"Billy!" Seth hissed in the background.

Billy waved him off. "It's OK, Dad. I got it covered."

"Got it covered, my ass," Seth murmured, but didn't make any further objections.

The nurse turned around and handed the card to the desk clerk, before saying, "Samuel, come with me."

Sam hesitated and turned his head toward Billy, again looking a lot more like the scared six-year-old Billy met six years ago, than the twelve-year-old he was. The nurse noticed his hesitation.

"Your uncle can come too if you want."

"You want me to come?"

Sam nodded wordlessly and Billy smiled reassuringly as he followed the nurse. "OK, come on then. Let's get this over with."

The doctor looked over at Billy. "The bones are dislocated. I need to put them back in place."

Billy raised his eyebrows questioningly. "And the problem is?"

"It's going to hurt pretty bad so I'd rather do it under anaesthesia. But I'm aware that you don't have insurance and there's always a risk…."

Billy looked down at Sam, who held Billy's hand in a dead-grip, working on crushing it. The boy's paleness and the way his sweaty hair clung to his forehead, made the decision easy. He looked up at the doctor again. "Just do it."

The doctor nodded and left the room to prepare the procedure.

"Billy." Sam voice sounded scared.

Billy sat down at the exam table beside him, hoping that his presence would calm the boy. "Yeah?"

"Do I have to have anaesthesia?"

Billy frowned. Did the kid want to feel pain? What the hell was this? The result of another one of John's "tough guys" lectures?

"Not if you don't want to, but it's gonna hurt like a bitch if you don't."

"You sure?"

"Oh, yes I'm sure," Billy said reassuringly. "Believe me, I've tried."

Sam just sighed and looked down.

Billy put his hand under Sam's chin, making the boy look at him. "Care to tell me why you don't want it?"

Sam's eyes quickly filled with tears. "I don't wanna die."

Billy frowned again. "You're not gonna die, Sammy. It's not dangerous. It's like sleeping."

"But when you're asleep, you're closer to death, right?" Sam whispered and lost the battle against his tears, which now slowly made their way down his cheeks.

Billy just stared at him, wishing he was anywhere but here. He didn't know what to say. What the hell did you say to a kid who thought sleeping got you closer to death? What kind of kid thought those kind of things, anyway? God, he wished Miriam was here. She was better at things like this – much better. Miriam. He wondered how she was; remembering the fear and terror Sam's fears had aroused in her. And suddenly, he knew exactly what kind of kid would think sleep brings you closer to death: a kid left alone to deal with horrible, unexplained nightmares. A psychic kid with an asshole for a father.

He carefully pulled Sam into his embrace and gently stroked his hair, just as he always did with Miriam when she had had a vision that scared her senseless.

"They are just nightmares, Sammy. They're not gonna kill you. They're gonna keep you and Dean alive."

"You think so?" Sam murmured into Billy's leather jacket.

"I know so. Miriam has them, too, remember?"

Sam pulled away slightly so he could look at Billy. "Am I like Miriam? Is that why she knew I wanted you to come?"

Billy nodded. "I think so."

"So the nightmares aren't gonna kill me?"

"No. Miriam has been having them for years and she's still alive." _As long as Dean can keep the fire demon away from you, you will be just fine._

"And they keep you alive?"

Billy nodded again.

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Sure."

"OK, then," Sam said and curled up closer to Billy, who closed his eyes tightly in order to keep his own tears from falling.

Billy sat in the waiting room with his head in his hands. Dean was in surgery and Sam still under anaesthetic and Billy had used the time to get a clean t-shirt from the car and call Miriam. She had reassured him that everything was fine at home, and that he had done just fine when he tried to deal with Sam's fears. And now he had nothing to do but think, and that was never a good thing.

He gave out a frustrated sigh.

"Billy, you OK?" Seth's voice was just as gentle as his hand on Billy's shoulder.

"Yeah, just trying to figure out which would be the most painful way for John to die," he replied darkly, without looking up.

Seth sighed and opened his mouth to reply, when a man in green scrubs walked into the room.

"Family of Dean Winchester?"

Billy stood up immediately. "Yeah?"

The doctor looked surprised. "You his father?"

Billy smiled slightly. "No his uncle. His father is on his way. How is he?"

The doctor smiled back. "He's doing good considering the circumstances. Whatever stabbed him, hit his liver and caused him to lose a lot of blood, but we managed to stop the bleeding and repair some other minor internal damage and if there's no complications, I expect him to make a full recovery."

Billy let out a breath and looked up at the ceiling, tears welling up in his eyes as he mouthed a silent "thank you" to whatever higher power that had spared Dean's life.

Without even bothering to dry at the tears, he shook the doctors hand. "Thank you. Thank you very much!"

The doctor smiled kindly. "You're welcome. Just remember that he's not completely out of the woods just yet. There's always a risk for infections and setbacks and you have to understand it was a very close call. I'm actually surprised that he was still alive when he got here."

Billy swallowed hard. He didn't want to think of how close they had come to losing Dean, not even for a split second. "I understand. When can we see him?"

"Give it and hour, and don't expect him to wake up just yet and if he does; he's probably going to be pretty out of it. We will have to drug him a bit in order for him to be able to rest and heal."

Billy nodded his understanding.

The doctor smiled again. "And Sam Winchester is awake and asking for you. We have fixed his arm but I want you to take him for a check-up three days from now. He might need a new cast when the swelling goes down."

Again Billy nodded. "I'll make sure he gets here."

"Good. I'll talk to you more later. If you have any questions, or if their dad wants to talk to me when he arrives, just have one of the nurses to page me, OK?"

Billy shook the man's hand again. "Thank you."

The doctor nodded kindly and left.

Billy collapsed onto the closest chair and put his head in his hands, trying to compose himself before he went and talked to Sam.

Seth sat down beside him and put his arm around Billy's shoulders. "Why don't you go and talk to Sam? I'll go and call father Jim again to see if he has managed to get a hold of John."

Billy didn't dare to answer, afraid that he would start crying if he opened his mouth. Seth squeezed his shoulders. "It's over now, Billy. It's over."

"Yeah, it's over," Billy whispered, desperately wishing that his father really could promise that.

Sam looked like he was asleep but as soon as Billy entered the room, his eyes shot open.

"Hi, Sam. How you feeling?" Billy asked gently.

Sam yawned and rubbed his eyes with his good hand. "Still sleepy, but it doesn't hurt so bad anymore."

Billy smiled and brushed some hair out of Sam's eyes, thinking that he should take the opportunity to give the kid a haircut, too. "That's great, Sam. And you know what? I have some good news, too."

"Dean's out of surgery?" Sam asked with a mix of hope and fear in his voice.

"Yeah, and he pulled through, Sam. He's gonna be OK. The doctors say he's gonna make a full recovery."

Sam's eyes teared up immediately. "Is it really true?"

"Yeah, it's true."

"When can I see him?"

"The doctor said we had to wait an hour and it might be a while before he wakes up."

"But he's really gonna be OK?" Sam asked again, his voice shaky from the sobs he tried to hold back.

Billy nodded. "Yeah, he is. I promise."

Billy watched Sam struggle with his tears and realized he needed help to let all the fears and terror from the past hours out. Sitting down at the edge of the bed, Billy took Sam in his arms, and let him cry against his shoulder as he whispered, "It's OK. It's over now, Sam. It's over. Everything's gonna be all right."

TBC


	4. Chapter 3

TITLE: As a last resource

AUTHOR: faith-in-Faith

DISCLAIMER: Don't own Sam or Dean or Supernatural, but I do own Billy and his family. :)

RATING: PG-13

WARNING: If John is your favorite person you won't like this... Spoilers for season 1

PARING: None

SUMMARY: Everybody needs a last resource and Dean is no exception...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: We're are now getting closer to present time and I'm going to follow the show up until Shadows, putting in the pieces I think will fit. ;) Thanks a lot to the people who has reviewed this and to Joey for beta reading this for me.

CHAPTER THREE

"Billy," Seth whispered, not wanting to wake up Sam, who was sleeping soundly with his head against Billy's shoulder.

Billy looked up to see his father standing in the door way.

"I need to talk to you."

Billy let go of Dean's hand and carefully untangled himself from Sam, who, he realized, sat more in Billy's chair than in his own. After he'd managed to get Sam back in his own chair, without causing him to wake up or fall on the floor, Billy stood up and tried to work out the kinks in his back. They had been with Dean for three hours now and Sam had slept most of the time. He was exhausted from the whole ordeal and seeing Dean, alive and breathing on his own, seemed to be all he needed to calm down and go to sleep. It wasn't enough for Billy, though. The kid was still too still and too pale. He looked dead to Billy. Right now, the only reassurance that Dean truly was alive was the slow but steady rise and fall of his chest and the faint beep of the heart monitor. Billy felt a need to make sure it stayed that way.

He bent down and carefully stroke Dean's forehead before readjusting Sam in the chair once more and then he left the room to join his father in the hallway.

Seth looked him over. "You OK?"

Billy ran his hand over his face and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Good. Look, I talked to pastor Jim again. He has finally been able to get hold of John and he will be here in a couple of hours."

"A couple of hours? He sent them out alone on a hunt and doesn't even stay close?"

"Billy…."

Billy waved away Seth's plea. "I'm just saying…."

"Billy." This time it was a touch of steel in Seth's voice.

Billy froze. "Yeah?"

"We better get out of here – before he arrives."

"No way!"

"I'm not gonna discuss this, Billy. I'm not gonna watch you get into it with him. We're done here. Sam and Dean are safe. We can leave." Seth spoke the last part in a soft and soothing way, hoping to convince Billy to give up without a fight.

But he wasn't that lucky. "I'm not leaving them. There's not a chance in hell, do you hear?"

"Billy, you're waking up Sam!" Seth hissed and motioned at Sam, who stirred in his chair.

Billy took a deep breath and continued in a considerably calmer voice, "We can't leave them. We don't know for sure Dean's gonna be OK and Sam has been alone and afraid enough tonight to last a life time. I'm not leaving until I know everything is gonna be OK. What if John doesn't make it here? How do we even know they really want to go with him?"

"Billy…" The sorrow in Seth's voice was evident. He didn't want Billy to torture himself like this.

"Please, Dad. Just until we know for sure someone is gonna take care of them."

Seth sighed. "OK, but you're not gonna kick John's ass when he gets here," he said warningly.

Billy gave him a cocky smile and was just about to reply when a raspy voice called out for Sam.

Billy immediately ran back into the room, happy that Dean was awake and afraid he would get upset since Sam was asleep and might not answer him right away. But he didn't have to worry. Sam was already by Dean's side, holding his hand, reassuring him in a shaky voice that everything was OK.

Careful, not wanting to startle Dean, Billy walked up to the bed and said softly, "Hi, Dean. How you feeling?"

Slowly, Dean turned his head toward Billy and licked his lips. "Billy?"

Billy smiled. "In the flesh."

Dean licked his lips again and asked, confused, "What are you doing here?"

"Saving your sorry ass – as usual. You really should try to take better care of yourself."

Dean smiled weakly. "Sorry to be such a burden to you. But how did you know? Miriam?"

Billy nodded.

Dean gave him a cocky smile. "I guess she likes me."

"We both do, Dean," Billy said softly.

Dean closed his eyes and one single tear leaked out.

Billy gently brushed it away with his thumb. "You OK?"

Dean jerked away and opened his eyes again. "Fine."

Billy raised his eyebrows.

Dean sighed and closed his eyes again. "OK. Thirsty, tired, achy."

"I bet. You can't have anything to drink yet. But I'll ask the nurse for some pain-killers and ice, OK? I guess they'll want to know you're awake anyway," Billy said softly and reached for the call button.

Dean grabbed his wrist. "Wait. Is Sammy really OK?"

"Dean. I already told you," Sam said from the other side of the bed in a soft, sad voice.

But Dean ignored him and looked pleadingly at Billy.

"Yeah, he's OK. Just a broken arm, but it will heal in no time," Billy answered and gently stoke Dean's hair.

Dean frowned at the unusual and unfamiliar display of affection, but didn't jerk away this time.

"Good."

Billy smiled again and hit the call button.

SSS

"What are you doing here?" The gruff, angry voice made Billy jerk his head up. Seeing John Winchester standing in the hallway outside Dean's room, glaring at Seth, made his whole body tense. He let go of Dean's hand ran out of the room, quickly putting himself between his father and John.

"I could ask you the same." Billy's voice was calm but the look in his eyes spoke volumes.

John snorted. "I'm their father. I have every right to be here. Now get the hell out of my way. I want to see my boys."

Billy didn't move an inch. "I happen to disagree. You let them go hunting on their own, not even staying close. Dean got hurt and almost died and you weren't there to save them. And it took us hours to track you down. As far as I'm concerned, you have forfeited the right to see or take care of your kids. How the hell could you let them go on their own, huh? They are just kids!"

John smirked. "Dean is no kid and if he or Sammy got hurt, it's because he screwed up. I taught him better than that."

"You son of a bitch!" Billy growled and grabbed John by his jacket, pinning him up against the wall. John tried to get loose but even though he was a strong man and had about two inches on Billy, he found himself unable to move. Billy was a lot stronger than he looked and his rage made him even stronger.

"I should kill you right here and now!" Billy hissed.

John smirked again. "Just go ahead and try." And before he could react, Billy's fist shot out and hit him square on the jaw.

"Billy," Seth said warningly, but Billy ignored him and raised his fist again.

Seth quickly took a step forward and caught his son's arm. "Billy! That's enough!" This time it wasn't a warning, it was an order, and Seth didn't give many of those.

Billy was too angry to care and struggled to get free, but Seth didn't let go, instead he took hold of Billy and yanked him off John.

"I said enough! This is not helping the boys. It's making it worse!" he said sternly, motioning with his head toward Dean's room.

Billy turned around and the terrified look in Sam's eyes made him stop fighting and he settled with just glaring angrily at John.

Seth gave him a slight push. "Take a walk, Billy." Billy glared at him. "Now!" Again it was an order and Billy turned around and slowly moved down the hallway.

John straightened his clothes and stroked his tender jaw, staring angrily at Seth. "You have absolutely no control over that boy."

"No," Seth replied calmly. "I haven't and I'm damn proud of it, because, unlike you, I don't raise soldiers. I raise independent people, and there's nothing Billy does that doesn't make me proud."

John ignored the comment. "What were you doing there anyway? I thought I told you to stay out of my business."

Seth set his jaw, feeling an almost overwhelming desire to kill John himself. But he wasn't as hot headed as Billy – never had been – so he just took a deep breath and said, "I know you and I don't see eye to eye most days and that you, for some reason, don't like Billy. But let's face it, John; this time you owe my son a lot. Because no matter how you look at this, you weren't there, Billy was. Billy was the one who ran to your boys' rescue. He was the one who found them. He was the one who put pressure to Dean's wounds when he was bleeding out in the middle of nowhere. He was the one who raced him to the hospital. It's Billy's car that's soaked with Dean's blood, not yours, and he was the one who made up lies and covered your ass to keep the social services out of this. Billy was the one who paced the hallway out of worry for your oldest son and soothed your youngest fears, holding his hand for comfort when he had to get his arm fixed. Not you, John. You were miles from here, not even answering your damn phone. And last but not least, Billy was the one who signed the consent forms and paid for your sons' care. And if you have any decency left in you, you'll show him some gratitude for what he's done. Not to mention that I expect you to pay back every penny of that hospital bill. And if you don't, you will have to answer to me, because Billy has three kids of his own to care for and we both know how much a hunter earns. Do we understand each other?"

John closed his eyes briefly and Seth could tell that he had managed to get through to him. "Yeah, we do. I'll make sure Billy gets his money."

"Good. Now I suggest that you let Billy say good-bye to the boys. I think he deserves at least that much."

John just nodded mutely in reply.

"Billy," Seth called softly, and Billy came around the corner.

Seth motioned his head toward Dean's room. "Say good-bye."

Billy nodded and met his father's gaze, his eyes shining with gratitude. Seth gave him a soft half smile and motioned at the room once more. "Go on."

Billy walked into Dean's room and immediately met Sam's eyes that – again – were big and dark with fear. Billy ran a hand through his hair and sighed before kneeling down in front the boy. "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't. It's not you I'm afraid of."

"You don't have to stay with him, Sam. You can still come with me."

Sam shook his head, glancing briefly at his brother. "No I can't. I gotta stay with Dean."

Billy nodded. He understood. "OK, just remember that if you change your mind, or need me, just call Caleb. He will know where I am – always."

Sam swallowed hard and nodded.

Billy sighed and gently tousled Sam's hair as he stood up. "Take care of yourself, Sam, and try to keep an eye at Dean for me, will you?"

"OK."

Billy turned around to face Dean when Sam whispered, "Billy?"

Billy turned around again. "Yeah?"

"Do you think Miriam will hear me again if I need you?"

"Yeah," Billy answered reassuringly. "Sure she will. Just wish for me if you need me, OK?"

"OK. Thank you."

Billy smiled slightly, knowing exactly how much those two words meant. "You're welcome."

"He's not that bad, you know," Dean said when Billy turned back to him.

"Yeah, sure," he replied not wanting to upset Dean, but still unable to cut John any slack.

Dean looked down at his blanket. "Thanks."

Billy smiled. "Sure. No problem. You take care now, and try not to pull anymore stupid stunts like this, OK? I have other things to do than to save your sorry ass."

Dean didn't answer – just smiled slightly.

Billy smiled back before turning serious again. "Make sure Sam gets his arm checked out in three days. The doctors said he might need a new cast."

Dean nodded.

"I told Sam to call Caleb if he needs me and the same goes for you."

"OK."

"Anything, Dean. No matter what it is – just call."

"OK."

Billy held Dean's gaze. "Anything. I mean it."

Dean looked away. "I know."

"And, Dean…."

Dean met Billy's eyes again. "Yeah?"

"Try to remember that team work always works better. I think you forgot that this time and it almost cost you your life. Try to trust Sam, OK? He's gonna be a great hunter."

"I know. I'll try."

"OK," Billy squeezed Dean's shoulder. "See you around."

"Yeah, bye," Dean answered, his voice thick with tears and his eyes tightly closed to hide them.

Billy smiled one more time at Sam and left the room. When he walked out into the hallway, John put a hand on his shoulder. Billy quickly spun around, ready to fight, but John let go of him and held up his hands in surrender and Billy relaxed slightly.

They stared at each other for a brief moment before John said, "Thank you."

"I didn't do it for you. I did it for Dean," Billy replied calmly before turning around and walking down the hallway.

SSS

Sam stared at the text message on his cell phone for a whole minute before hitting the send button, knowing all too well that Dean would probably kill him if he knew. Then, he made sure the water in the shower was still running before he picked up Dean's cell phone from the table and quickly programmed the new number into it, silently praying it would help to keep Dean safe while he was gone. Leaving for college was something he really had to do to save his sanity, but he knew that it left Dean pretty much alone, unless he counted their father, and Sam didn't. John had even more trouble with his priorities than Sam himself, but Billy had said, anything, anytime and Sam had always known that Billy was Dean's very last resource and without Sam, Dean would needed that resource more than ever. So Sam decided that alerting both parties would be a good idea. Plus it made him feel less like a traitor who was bailing on his own brother.

Dean scrolled down the list of phone numbers in his cell phone, trying to find one of John's contacts, when something caught his eye. He scrolled back up and stared at the letters on the display. They read: "ICE Billy"

He couldn't help but smile. "OK, bitch. I get it."

SSS

"Caleb, it's Billy."

"Billy. What's up?"

"Have you heard from the Winchesters lately?"

"No. Not since the last time we spoke. Why? Is something wrong?"

"No. Everything is cool. Send Dean a text message from me, will you?"

"Sure. You at Stanford?"

"Yep."

"OK, so what do you want it to say?"

"Tell him Sam's fine and is having a girl."

"Really?"

Billy grinned. "Really. And she' pretty, too."

"I guess little Sammy is growing up, huh?"

"Definitely."

"OK, I'll tell Dean. Take care, Billy."

"Thanks. You too."

Billy snapped his cell phone shut and took one more look at the bench where Sam and his blond girl sat, watching them share a deep kiss, before he drove away. Sam was OK and Dean would know about it. He seemed to be OK, too, because no news was good new when it came to the hunting business and that meant Billy's mission was accomplished – at least for the time being.

When Sam left for Stanford, he had asked Caleb for Billy's number and sent him a text message, asking him to look after Dean when he was away. And then Dean had called and asked if Billy could check on Sam whenever he passed Stanford. Billy had done both those things for almost four years now, and so far so good. Actually, it was more than good. Billy grinned when he thought about how Sam had kissed that girl. It actually looked like Miriam was wrong for the first time in her life. Because it definitely looked like Sam was going to have the life he'd always dreamed of….

TBC…


	5. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything connceted to Supernatural, just borrow and use it for fun. :)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: No, I swear you're not seeing things. This is an update and hope fully it won't be so long between them anymore since I just got a new beta that has a little more time. So, thanks a lot to MAYA for beta this for me. You rock! And thank you Joey (my old beta) for keeping up with me for so long! I'm sad to see you go... :( But anyway, back to the story. I hope you will all enjoy.

CHAPTER FOUR

"Sam."

The name was just a faint whimper on Miriam's lips before she woke up with tears streaming down her face. The suffocating pain in her chest, together with the image of a devastated Sam being dragged out from a burning building by Dean that still lingered behind her eyelids told her that the vision she had had for years now had come true and that Sam's attempt to outrun his destiny was over.

She dried her tears and tried to breathe through the pain, but Sam's despair was so strong she had a problem blocking it. She reached out and touched Billy's arm in an attempt to ground herself in his strength. She was very good at blocking her ability to feel other people's fear and despair, and that was what saved her sanity, but sometimes her powers just weren't enough. But so far, Billy had always been able to cut the slack, to give her what she didn't have her self, and today was no exception. She felt Sam's pain slowly leave her body, but she still felt like crying, because she knew just how much he was hurting and she wished there would have been a way to spare him this.

"Miriam?"

Billy's voice was thick with sleep and Miriam sighed slightly. She knew Billy would wake up when she touched him for strength. He always did.

"Yeah."

"Vision?"

"Yeah."

A tired grunt. "What about?"

"Sam." Miriam's voice broke with the name, and she wished she didn't know how much pain he was in.

Billy sat up abruptly. "What about Sam? Is he in danger?"

"No, not anymore. Dean saved him."

"He's back with Dean?"

"Yeah."

Billy grinned. "Then he's okay."

Miriam sighed again. "It all depends how you look at it, Billy. It all depends on how you look at it."

¨

Dean stood outside the door to the motel room, staring at his cell phone. He had scrolled down to the right number, but couldn't quite get himself to push the call button. He was scared as hell. He had reached wits end and he didn't know what to do anymore, didn't know how to help Sam. At first, things hadn't been that bad. The visions were few and pretty far apart and Sam seemed to manage to recover before a new one hit him even though the headaches that always followed afterwards seemed to get worse for every time. The pain made Sam nauseous and Dean had to coax and trick him to get him to eat properly, but still they managed to cope, managed to hold it together for the most part. And when Sam had agreed to Dean's suggestions to turn to Missouri for help without arguments, Dean had felt relieved. He was sure Missouri would know a way to help Sam, a way to teach him how to deal with and handle his abilities. The fact that he had been able to find a solution had made Dean calm – almost happy – and lessened his worry for Sam, which, in return, had made Sam relax and made it easier for Dean to help him. But that all changed two weeks ago.

They were on their way to Lawrence when Sam woke up in the car from a nightmare vision, and the reactions that followed told Dean it was a dreadful one. Sam had immediately thrown up before Dean even had time to stop the car, and then kept dry heaving until he almost passed out. Suddenly he refused to go to Missouri, saying it wasn't safe for any of them, and it was obviously that he was scared out of his mind. But when Dean asked him what was after them, Sam refused to answer and from that day it only escalated. Sam had had the same vision at least twice since then and now he neither ate nor slept, and Dean could tell Sam's headache was worse than ever. Every time he met Dean's eyes, Dean would almost choke from the fear and despair in them. But no matter what he did, be couldn't get Sam to tell him what the vision was about. He had tried everything. He had begged, threaten, coxed, trying to give an order in the same way their Dad always did. He even gave Sam a chick-flick moment, but nothing helped. Sam just shook his head and refused to answer or ignored Dean altogether. The vision was slowly killing Sam and Dean didn't know how to fix it. Calling Billy was his last resource – always had been – and that was the scary part, because if Billy couldn't help, then what was he supposed to do? Knowing he really didn't have a choice, Dean took a deep breath and pushed the call button.

¨

Billy's cell phone rang and he cursed softly when he realized that he couldn't answer it without moving. He rolled out from under the car and fished it out from his overall pocket, before sitting up.

"Billy."

There was a brief silence and Billy frowned. If this was a prank call he was going to be seriously pissed.

"It's Dean."

There was a tense edge in the familiar voice and Billy made sure to keep his own voice calm and reassuring as he replied. "Dean. What's wrong?"

He cut straight to the chase as they always did. Dean didn't do small talk and he didn't call Billy if everything was fine, and they both knew that.

"I need your help. It's Sam." The simple answer was a desperate plea and held an ocean of fear and despair and Billy felt his blood run cold.

"Tell me where you are and I'll be there as soon as I can."

Dean gave out a nervous laughter. "No, it's nothing like that. He's not hurt or in danger." There was another brief silence and then Dean said hesitantly, "I think he's losing his mind or something."

Billy frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"He has these visions and he has never been able to handle them very well, gets headaches and that kind of shit. I was going to take him to Missouri so she could help him. But two weeks ago he got a really ugly one and, ever since, he's totally freaked out. He's not eating or sleeping and he refuses to go to Missouri, says it's not safe."

"Do you know what it's about?"

"No. He won't tell me, but I can tell it's really eating him and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm no good at this physic shit, but I was thinking, since Miriam is a physic, too, she might be able to help him before he totally destroys himself…"

Dean's voice cracked slightly and Billy knew he was dangerous close to the edge. "Sure. No problem. Does Sam think it's safe to come here?"

"Yeah. He trusts you."

"Just tell me where you are and I'll come and get you."

"No, it's okay. We can get there ourselves. Just give me the address."

Billy gave him the address and asked, "How far away are you?"

"We will be there in about three hours."

"Okay. See you then. Drive safe."

"Sure."

Billy closed his phone, stood up and called, "Sean. We're closing early today."

His oldest son rolled out from under another car. "Yeah? Why? Another hunt?"

Billy shook his head as he walked up to him. "No. Sam and Dean are gonna be here in a couple of hours."

Sean met his father's eyes. "I was just wondering when they were gonna realize we're the only ones who can help them."

Billy narrowed his eyes. "You knew about this? Did you have a vision you didn't tell me about?"

Sean laughed. "Hell no! But Mom dropped a plate yesterday, and when I asked her what was wrong she absently said Sam freaked out again and it was like the fifth time in two weeks. I asked her if she had told you, and she said she didn't need to. Dean would contact you when it was time. But it sure took him long, don't you think?"

Billy sighed. "Dean doesn't ask for help until it's absolutely necessary. He doesn't want to bother people, wants to solve his own problems."

"Asking your friends for help is hardly bothering."

Billy sighed. "I know. But Dean thinks so."

Sean frowned. "Why?"

"Because that's what he's been taught."

Sean stopped in his step and looked doubtfully at his dad. "His dad told him that?"

Billy nodded.

"You serious?"

"Dead serious."

"That guy really is nuts."

Billy snorted. "He sure is. And you only know half of it!"

"You really don't like him, do you?" Sean asked softly.

"No. I don't, and if I had had any saying in the matter, he wouldn't have been allowed to keep the boys."

"You mean like letting someone else raise them?"

Billy nodded grimly.

"Like the social services someone?"

"Yeah, pretty much anyone had been better as far as I'm concerned."

"Seriously?" Sean looked surprised. His experience was that hunters stuck together like glue. Especially when it came to protect their families from the interference of the unappreciative ´real world´ and, to get someone as faithful and honourable as his father ready to rat on him, John Winchester really had to treat his boys in an unusually cruel and irresponsible way.

"Yeah. Seriously. If I had had it my way, I had taken them away from him ten years ago."

"Seriously?" Sean asked again, although he was aware of that he sounded a bit like a parrot, but his brain didn't seem to be able to come up with a better word right now.

Billy nodded again. "If it had been up to me, you would have grown up with two older brothers."

Sean smiled. "Cool. What stopped you?"

"Dean. He wanted to stay with his father."

Sean could hear the hurt in his father's voice and couldn't help but think that Dean had to be just as nuts as his father for turning down a good man like Billy.

"Well. It was probably for the best. I have enough pain-in-the-ass siblings as it is."

Billy playfully whacked his son over the head. "Watch it, boy!"

¨

"Daddy!" Billy youngest son squealed happily as his father walked through the door.

Billy took the toddler from Miriam. "Hello there! How's my favourite boy today?"

"He's just fine, thank you," came the sarcastic reply from the boy sitting at the kitchen table.

Billy turned around and smiled as he tousled the boy's hair. "Hello to you, too, Simon."

The twelve-year-old tried to duck. "What are you doing home so early?" he asked curiously. "Going on a hunt?"

Billy shook his head. "We're getting company. Dean and Sam Winchester are gonna be here in couple of hours."

Simon's eyes lit up. "_The _Dean Winchester?"

"I didn't know there was more than one." Billy's voice was serious but his eyes sparkled with amusement.

Simon was about to answer, but got interrupted when four-year-old Ruthie ran into the kitchen and threw herself around Billy's legs. "Daddy, Daddy! Guess what? Sean's home early and he picked me up and spun me around and around and around like an airplane!"

Billy handed Joshua over to Simon and picked up the little girl. "He did, huh?"

She nodded excitedly. "Yeah. And guess what? He says Dean Winchester is gonna come here. Big superhero, ghost hunter Dean, the best hunter there is."

Billy tried to hold back his laughter. "Did Sean tell you he was the best?"

"No," the little girl admitted thoughtfully. "Simon did. He says Dean's a fana-" She stumbled a bit on the word. "A fantastic ghost hunter; almost a superhero."

Billy gave his son a look. "He did, huh?"

Ruthie nodded. "And he didn't really tell me," she continued, looking slightly ashamed. "He told Sean. I was just sort of listening."

Billy laughed. "Okay. Now, Ruthie. Tell me, who's the best ghost hunter in the world?"

"You, Daddy!" she yelled triumphantly.

Billy grinned and let her down on the floor, then turned to Simon, whose face by now had taken on a bright red colour. "And you better not undermine my authority like that again any time soon."

"Don't mind him, Simon. He's just pissed because he's getting old," Sean said with a laugh and picked up Ruthie, who had abandoned her father as soon as Sean walked through the door.

Simon gave his brother a thankful thank-you-for-saving-my-ass smile and Billy threw his arms up in faked exasperation.

"Not you, too! What did I ever do to deserve this kind of disrespect?"

He turned to Miriam with a pitiful, pleading look.

Miriam laughed. "I have no idea. They always treat _me_ with respect."

"What's going on?"

Everybody's eyes turned to the girl standing in the other door on the opposite side of the kitchen and Sean said, "Nothing, Hannah. We're just giving Dad a hard time."

His sister smiled. "Why are you two home so early?"

"We get company in a couple of hours."

"Oh." At the age of ten, Hannah knew all too well that the kind of company that got her father and brother to come home early from work usually brought trouble.

She looked over at her mother. "Can I help somehow?"

"Sure you can, sweetie. If you'll look after Joshua and Ruthie for me, I'd be more than grateful. I need to get dinner started if it's gonna get ready before the Winchesters arrives," Miriam answered with a soft sigh.

Billy caught the weariness in her voice and quickly walked up to her, realizing for the first time how pale she was. He put a hand on her cheek and asked, "You okay?"

"Just tired. Sam's fear wears me out a bit," she admitted softly as she closed her eyes and leaned into Billy's touch.

"You still feel him?" he asked in surprise.

Miriam nodded. "More and more. I think it's because he's getting closer. Poor, Sam. He's terrified."

"You know why?"

She shook her head. "I have no idea, but his amount of fear tells me it's something big."

"How scared is he?"

"Remember how scared you were when the demon almost took Sean?"

Billy shuddered_. Like he would ever forget that_. "Yeah."

"That's how Sam feels all the time."

"God. Poor kid."

"I know." Miriam closed her eyes again.

Billy looked worriedly at her. "Do you need to lie down?"

"No, just hold me for awhile. Give me the strength to block him."

Billy pulled her into his embrace and held her tight as he murmured a quiet, "I love you," into her hair.

Miriam smiled. "Ditto."

The kitchen had gone quiet while Billy and Miriam talked, but suddenly Joshua started squirm in Simon's arms and called, "Mama!"

Hannah quickly took him from Simon and said, "Come on, Joshua. Let's go and play with the ball."

"Want Mama!" the boy replied stubbornly and tried to get down.

"I know," Hannah replied patiently. "But she needs to cook dinner. Now come on. You, too, Ruthie."

Miriam broke free from Billy and kissed her youngest. "Go with Hannah now, sweetie."

Joshua calmed down and Hannah left the kitchen with Ruthie in tow.

Billy stroke Miriam's hair. "You sure you, okay?"

She smiled softly. "I'm sure."

"Need anymore help?"

"Yeah, I thought Simon and Sean could help me to peel potatoes while I'm making the chicken casserole."

"Mom," Simon whined. "It's Sean's turn. I did it yesterday."

"Simon, stop it. Your mother needs your help today." Billy's voice was soft, but the message was clear and Simon blushed slightly.

"Sorry, Dad."

Billy just smiled and tousled Simon's hair. Then he turned to Miriam. "I'll go and check on things, okay?"

"Okay. Don't forget to pick Jason up at Pete's."

Billy shook his head.

Miriam put a sack of potatoes on the sink. "Here you go, boys."

They worked in silence for a while before Simon broke it. "I can't believe I finally get to meet Dean," he said with a happy sigh. "He's so cool!"

Sean nodded. "Yeah, he is. But you really should cut Dad some slack. He's a great hunter, too. Probably even better than Dean. Did you know that when he was my age they called him 'Billy the kid' and he was known as one of the best hunters in the states?"

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No."

"He's right, Simon," Miriam said softly.

"And when I was little he saved both me and Mom from the fire demon, pushed us through the window."

Simon's eyes went to his mother for confirmation. Miriam nodded slowly and shuddered from the memory.

"Wow!"

Sean nodded. "Yeah, wow. I told you he's cool."

Simon looked ashamed. "I didn't know, and he's my dad, you know...?" He looked worriedly at this brother. "Do you think I hurt his feelings?"

Sean grinned. "No, don't worry. He doesn't care what people think and he likes Dean. He's okay with your choice of hero. Besides, he doesn't want you to know about this anyway. But I thought you should. And don't forget that Dean is here to get Dad's help, not the other way around. "

Simon nodded seriously. "I get it, but I still think Dean is cooler."

Sean laughed. "Yeah, and younger."

¨

Dean glanced over at Sam, who was slouched down in the passenger seat, fast asleep. Dean couldn't remember the last time Sam actually slept for more than an hour and now he had been asleep for almost four without nightmares or visions. It was like a miracle. He had fallen asleep only twenty minutes after they left probably because he finally felt safe and Dean had mixed feeling about the whole thing.

The relief on Sam's face when Dean told him they were heading over to Billy's made Dean feel like an idiot for not doing it sooner and, at the same time, he felt the bitter taste of failure for not being able to provide what his brother needed, not to mention a strange feeling of jealousy. He was ashamed to admit it, but he wanted, _needed_, to be the most important person in Sam's life. He wanted Sam to feel safe with him. But Dean knew that, right now, he couldn't give Sam what he needed, and if Dean had to handle over the responsibility for his brother's wellbeing to anyone at all, he'd pick Billy. He trusted Billy. He had been Dean's last resource for almost as long as he could remember and Dean had reached his limit weeks ago. This was the right thing to do. Dean knew it. Still, it felt like he had failed. Failed them all.

He sighed and made one last turn to the left, following Billy's directions that he had taped on the dashboard. There was a small rise and in the end, a nice yellow house showed up. A little brown-haired girl was playing in the yard, but as soon as she spotted the Impala, she ran inside. Dean nodded his head in approval. Billy had trained his kids well. He put the car in park and gently shook Sam's shoulder.

"Sammy. We're here."

Sam moaned softly.

Dean shook harder. "Come on, Sam. We're here. You need to wake up."

Sam opened his eyes and looked at Dean in confusion. "What?"

"We're here, at Billy's."

"Oh. Okay." He straightened up and rubbed his temples.

"Headache still bad?"

"Yeah," Sam answered wearily. "I guess more sleep wasn't the answer."

Dean sighed and looked out the car window, spotting Billy, who just stepped out on the front steps.

Dean gave Sam's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Our host is here. Let's go."

They got out of the car and walked up to the house.

"Dean. It's good to see you." Billy extended his hand and when Dean took it, Billy pulled him into a hug and Dean felt the unfamiliar, but welcomed, mix of relief and safety he always felt around Billy.

"It's good to see you, too," he replied with a nod and a slight smile, then stepped back so Sam could say hello, too.

He watched the expression on Billy's face go even softer as he gave Sam a long and tight hug. "Sam. How you doing?"

Sam attempted to smile, but failed miserably, and Dean felt his chest tighten when Sam's eyes filled with tears. "Definitely been better."

Sam's voice shook and Billy squeezed his shoulder. "It's okay. You're safe here. We will help you, okay?"

Sam nodded in response and Billy smiled at them both as he said, "Come on. Let's go inside. The pack is waiting."

TBC...


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Don't own anything connected with Supernatural

CHAPTER FIVE

Billy led them through a tiny hallway and then stepped into a big kitchen painted mostly in yellow. Dean's first thought was that it was crowded – crowded with kids. Kids in all ages, and he turned to Billy with raised eyebrows. "Are all these yours?"

Billy nodded proudly.

Dean grinned. "Man, you and I _so_ need to have that talk your old man missed."

"Dean!" Sam hissed behind him.

"It's already too late, dude. You should been here twelve years ago."

Dean turned to the boy who had spoken and grinned. "Sean, man. It's good to see you, even though I think I had spared your old man a lot of grief if I had had that talk with him eighteen years ago."

Dean knew Sean pretty well. They have met four times the past two years before Sam came back. Twice when Billy came to rescue Dean's ass, and twice when he needed help with a hunt he couldn't do on his own. Dean really liked the kid. He was smart, funny and a divinely gifted hunter. Mostly because of foresight, but still…

Sean made a face. "Touché."

"What talk?" the little girl, who had been playing in the yard when they arrived, asked curiously, looking expectantly at her older brother.

Sean looked startled and Dean could tell that he had forgotten that his younger siblings were in the room, too.

"How about we continue this presentation on a little more child proof leave?" the black-haired woman by the sink said with a wink and a soft smile, and Dean realized he had just met Miriam for the first time in his life.

"Sure, Mom. Sorry," Sean replied with a sheepish smile.

"Okay, Sean and Dean, as we all noticed, you already know each other. So let's continue. Dean, this is Simon," Billy said with a smile, and pointed at a gangly boy, about twelve years old standing next to Sean, "and he happens to think you're the best and coolest hunter there is – almost a superhero."

The boy blushed furiously, and Dean felt sorry for him. "Aww, come on, Billy. Don't give the poor boy a hard time. You've always been an ass when it comes to those things. Don't worry," he said and gave the boy an encouraging look, "I think it's an excellent choice, but unfortunately it proves that you're a lot smarter than I was when I was in your age, because my hero was that dork over there." He glared at Billy. "Can you believe it?"

Billy just grinned and playfully whacked Dean over the head before continuing with the presentation, but Simon sent Dean an admiring and utterly grateful look, and Dean winked at him in return.

"This is Hannah."

"Hi," the girl said shyly and Dean met the too serious eyes of a girl, a couple of years younger than Simon and thought that this was a child that – in spite of Billy and Miriam's best efforts – definitely had lost her childhood to the hunt, because the look in her eyes reminded him about Sam. Sad Sam. The younger boy beside her – introduced as Jason – reminded him of Sam, too, but not sad Sam. More like rebelling teenage Sam, and he felt sorry for Billy. This one was sure to be a handful.

"And this is Ruthie," Billy said with an amused smile. "If you want the truth, or the latest news, she's the one you ask."

"Hi, you," Dean said gently and crouched down to her level. She giggled and shyly hided her head against her mothers legs.

"And then the pride and joy of my life, my wife Miriam, not to mention Joshua, the latest member of the pack."

Dean straightened up and met the kind gaze in the woman's green eyes. He extended his hand. "It's nice to finally meet you. I understand that you have saved my life more than once, so… thank you."

She took his hand and squeezed it with surprisingly strength. "You're very welcome."

Dean nodded and turned his eyes to the toddler, who greeted him with a bright smile that made his heart go all soft and mushy. He smiled back and gently patted the boys head. In the mean time, Billy had started to introduce Sam the same way he had with Dean.

"Sean, meet Sam Winchester," Billy said gravely and Dean frowned at his tone. It wasn't like Billy to be that formal and his frowned deepened when Sean straightened up, almost like a solider, and answered, "It's an honour to meet you, sir!"

"Don't call me sir," Sam said softly. "There's no reason. I'm not even a cool hunter. Just Sam, Dean's little brother."

Sean was about to reply, but Billy caught his gaze and shook his head and Sean nodded. "Okay, Sam it is."

_What was that all about?_ Dean thought, feeling totally bewildered. Sean didn't usually act that way and Billy definitely didn't raise his kids to behave like soldiers, or to call people sir. But the presentation went on and Dean got distracted from his thoughts when Sam was introduced to Miriam and Joshua. The toddler reached his arms toward Sam, his eyes big and curious. Sam looked at Miriam, like to ask for permission, and then took the toddler and awkwardly held him on his arm. Joshua happily grabbed Sam's hair and Sam let out a yelp of surprise and pain.

Miriam quickly saved Sam by taking the little boy back. "Sorry, he loves long hair."

Everybody in the room laughed – even Sam – and for the first time in a long time Dean felt that things might be okay again eventually.

"Okay," Billy said. "Let's sit down and eat."

Dean's eyes worriedly went to Sam, because lately eating hadn't been one of Sam's favourite things, but Sam gave him a soft, reassuring smile and Dean relaxed.

The food was great, and Dean enjoyed both the light conversation around the table and the home cooked meal more than he thought he ever would. It was something about the atmosphere in the room that made him relax. He felt safe, and from the look of it, so did Sam, because he both talked and smiled, not to mention actually ate some, even if it wasn't much.

Eventually, the meal came to an end and Miriam started to collect the plates, putting them in the sink. When she took Sam's half eaten one, Ruthie leaned closer to him and whispered, "You really should have eaten your food. You're gonna be in so much trouble!"

Sam looked at her, his expression somewhere between bewildered and amused and whispered back, "I am?"

"Yes, you are. You can't have any dessert and Daddy's gonna give you the lecture about being grateful about having food at all," the girl said gravely and the look on her face told Sam just how dreadful that lecture was.

Sam was just about to reply, but Miriam's gentle voice interrupted him.

"Ruthie. Leave Sam alone. You remember what I told you about why he's here, right?"

Ruthie nodded. "Because he needs help and rest because the crystal bowl in his head isn't working properly."

"And?"

"And if it isn't working properly the visions hurts."

"Exactly."

Ruthie's eyes grew wide. "Oh!" She turned to Sam and hugged his waist. "Don't worry, Mom or Hannah will make it go away. They can fix everything that hurts, and Daddy never gets angry if you're not eating because you're sick or hurting."

Again, everybody laughed, but Sam carefully hugged the little girl back and his voice was thick with emotions when he answered, "Thank you. I'm already feeling better."

Simon stood up and helped his mother collect the plates and put out new ones for the dessert, and suddenly Joshua stood up in his high chair, reaching his arms toward his brother.

"Joshua! Sit down!" Hannah said in a frightened voice and Dean, experienced after years of looking after Sam, immediately realized the danger and quickly stood up, trying to reach the boy across the table. At the same time, Billy turned around and tried to catch the toddler's arm, but it was too late. The movement made the little boy lose his balance and he fell out of the chair before any of them could reach him. Dean prepared himself for the loud wailing he prayed would be the result of the fall, because the alternative – silence – was no good. He heard the sound of a chair against the floor and suddenly, the boy stopped mid-air and slowly floated toward the floor where he landed softly on his butt.

Simon quickly scoped him up in his arms, burying his face in the boy's curly hair and whispered. "You know you need to sit still in the chair, you little moron."

"What the hell...," Dean murmured softly and stared at Joshua, safe and unharmed in his brother's arms.

"Thank you, Sean." Dean watched Billy eye is oldest son fondly, and suddenly he realized what had happened. Sean had the same physic powers that Max had had. But instead of killing someone with them, he had just used them to save his brother. Maybe there was hope for Sam. He looked over at his brother, and when their eyes met, he knew Sam was thinking the same.

"Yeah, Sam. Psychic powers don't necessarily have to be evil. It's a choice we make," Miriam said softly from where she stood at the kitchen sink, and for the first time since they met Max, Dean saw a glimmer of hope in Sam's eyes.

The rest of the meal went by without any further incidents, but the exhaustion was back on Sam's face and – once again – Dean found it hard to enjoy his own meal when all Sam did was poke at his. He was trying to come up with an excuse to get Sam into a bed somewhere when Miriam saved him the trouble.

"Billy, it's time to get the little ones in bed. And...," she turned and smiled at Sam, "…judging from the look on your face, some of the bigger ones, too."

Simon quickly stood up. "I'll take Joshua and Ruthie."

Billy nodded approvingly. "Good. Hannah and Jason, help your Mom with the dishes. Sean, take a look outside, makes sure everything is okay."

Dean heard all the kids murmur something along the lines with, "Okay, Dad," and thought that Billy might not have believed in giving orders, but did anyway, and he couldn't help but wonder what had happened if one of the kids had disobeyed him.

As the kitchen quiet down and the only sound to be heard was the soft click of dishes and water running, Sam put his head in his hands and sighed.

"How you feeling?" Dean asked and tried to keep the fear out of his voice, knowing all too well that Sam needed him strong now.

Sam looked up again. "Honestly?"

Dean made a face. "I'd prefer that, yeah."

"Like I could sleep for a year or so, that said if my head wasn't about to explode."

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah," Sam said with a sigh and wearily rubbed his face.

Dean sighed, too, silently wondering if Sam would actually try to go to sleep tonight or if he would fight it like he usually did.

Dean looked over at Billy, fear and desperation making him sound hash and demanding, and said, "Now what? You said you could help."

Billy looked over at Miriam, who abandoned the dishes and sat down at the table. "First we're all gonna have a good nights sleep, and tomorrow we're gonna talk and then, when you both know everything that you need to know, we will make a plan on how to get Sam in charge of his powers. How does that sound?"

"Sounds great, except that Sam here kind of have been ditching the whole sleeping concept lately," Dean said sarcastically.

He knew he was being rude and unfair. They were trying to help and all he was doing was giving them shit. But he couldn't help it. He was tired and scared for Sam, and all he wanted was for this to end.

But neither Miriam nor Billy seemed offended, and if they were, they didn't show it. Instead Miriam smiled and looked sympathetically at Sam. "I know, but tonight you don't have to be afraid of the nightmares or visions. I'll take them away from you."

"You can do that?" Dean asked sceptically.

"Yes, I can."

"Forever?"

Miriam smiled sadly at the hope in Dean's voice. "Sorry, that's not how it works."

"Then how does it work?" Sam asked quietly.

"I'll sit by your bed when you sleep, and when I see or feel signs of a nightmare or vision coming, I'll take them away from you."

"So you will live through my nightmares and visions for me?"

Miriam nodded. "Yeah."

"Doesn't sound like much fun."

"No, it isn't. Usually I have enough of my own visions and nightmares."

Sam swallowed hard. "Then why are you doing this for me?"

"Because you need and deserve it. Just remember, it's only a temporary thing. I can't always be around, so you'll have to learn how to deal with them on your own."

"Can't you teach me how to do it? I'll be happy to take that vision thing away from him."

"Dean! No!" Sam said in horror. "I can't let you do that. You have no idea how it is. Believe me, man. You don't want to go through that."

Dean set his jaw. "Yes, I would. If that meant you'd finally be able to eat and sleep again, I'd be happy to."

"Dean...," Sam's voice was merely a broken whisper and the look the brothers shared held a whole conversation.

Billy cleared his throat. "Yeah, well, that's not really an option, right, Miriam?"

Miriam looked apologetically at Dean. "Sorry, you have to be a psychic."

Dean made a face. "Why aren't I surprised?"

Billy chuckled slightly. "So, are you guys okay with the plan?"

Sam smiled weakly. "I guess."

Billy stood up. "Good. Come on. I'll show your bedroom. Miriam will stay with Sam tonight and Dean will sleep in the main bedroom with me and Joshua."

Dean quickly stood up, looking at Billy in alarm. "Whoa! Wait a second. I'm staying with Sam."

"Sorry, Dean, not tonight," Billy said firmly.

Dean smiled at him but it wasn't a nice smile. It was his dangerous "don't mess with me smile." And his hands unconsciously curled to fists at his side. "I don't think you understand. It's my job to protect my brother. I'm staying with Sam. End of discussion."

Billy met Dean's gaze, calm and totally unfazed by his anger. "I know it is. But not tonight. Tonight, he needs a kind of protection you can't provide."

All fight left Dean and he just looked tried and broken. "But what if something comes for him?"

"Don't worry. This is a well protected house. Sean and you and I are close by, and if needed, Miriam is a hunter, too – an excellent one. I promise you'd have to be on your best to beat her in combat."

"It will be okay, Dean," Sam said softly.

Dean took a deep, calming breath and ran his hand through his hair. "Okay."

"Good, now come on," Billy said, and Sam and Dean quietly followed him down the hall.

The house was kind of funny looking and felt a bit like a labyrinth. Billy had probably just added more room after the need of more space for his growing family.

"Nice place," Sam said politely.

Billy grinned. "No, it isn't. It's ugly as hell, but it fills its purpose – to put roof over my kids' heads – and it's...," he shrugged, "...home."

"Yeah," Sam replied distantly, "home."

Dean felt his heart ache for Sam, wondering for like the millionth time if he should have let Sam go with Billy ten years ago.

"Okay, so here it's," Billy said and turned on the light in a small room in the end of a short hallway. "It's gonna be Simon's room when Joshua gets old enough to have his own room. We try to keep the small kids closest...," His voice trailed off, like he realized he was talking too much about stuff most people wasn't interested in, but Sam and Dean wasn't most people.

"It sounds like a good plan," Sam offered quietly.

"Yeah, you can never be too careful," Dean agreed and Billy smiled warmly.

"Anyway, I'll leave you here to get ready. The bathroom is just down the hall to the right."

The beds were the cheep kind that people used for overnight guests, but neither of them was picky, and as soon as Billy left, Sam flopped down on one of them and closed his eyes.

Dean watched him worriedly, but before he could say anything, the sound of approaching footsteps made him look up. Miriam stood in the doorway with her hands full of blankets. Hannah was close behind her holding a glass of water and a bottle of Advil.

Miriam dumped the blankets on the unoccupied bed and said, "It gets kind of cold in here at night so I brought some extra blankets. And I thought I'd leave you alone until you feel ready or until Sam falls asleep. Just come and get me when you're done – or if you need me."

"Okay. Thanks," Dean said, shifting uneasily and sent her a grateful look, feeling bad for the way he had acted earlier.

Miriam smiled warmly in return, her eyes telling him she understood and forgave. In the meantime, Hannah had sat down on Sam's bed and was now offering him a couple of Advil and a glass of water. Sam smiled his thanks and winced as he sat up.

"I'm sorry. Here, let me take some of it away," Hannah said compassionately and reached for Sam's face.

"No! Hannah! Don't touch him!" Miriam said sharply and Hannah jerked away like she had been burned, looking wide-eyed at her mother.

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to help."

"I know, sweetheart. But he's too powerful for you. His pain would hurt you too much, plus that most of it is emotional and you can only cure pain that's physical, remember?"

"Sorry," the little girl said again.

Miriam smiled reassuringly. "It's okay. You didn't know. Why don't you go and get ready for bed. I'll be there in a minute to tuck you in."

"Okay," Hanna answered obediently and turned to leave the room, but before she disappeared, Sam said, "Thank you, Hannah. I appreciate the offer."

Hannah gave him a bright smile and left.

There was a brief silence before Miriam ran her hand over her hair. "Okay, just call me when you're done."

Dean and Sam nodded in unison and Miriam left.

Dean starred at Sam for a moment and then he said, "Man, and you think our family is weird..."

Sam smiled and shook his head. "Dean, you're impossible!"

"What?" Dean asked and the innocent smile he shot his brother made Sam laugh.

Dean made his way though the eerily quiet house. Sam hadn't fallen asleep yet, but he seemed relaxed and content, and Dean had decided Sam would be okay on his own for a while. The quietness and the inactivity were starting to get to him and he needed to move around, maybe get some air. He reached the kitchen where Miriam was busy finishing cleaning up before she went to bed.

"Hi," he said softly.

"Hi. Sam's asleep?"

"Almost."

"Okay. I'll go to him in a minute. Coffee?" Dean nodded.

She reached into the cabinet and handed him a mug. "Here, help yourself," she said with a smile, and Dean thought that she smiled an awful lot for someone dealing with supernatural things and visions all day.

He leaned against the kitchen counter trying to relax, but felt oddly uncomfortable, like someone was in his head.

He cleared his throat. "Um… are you reading my mind or something?"

Miriam turned around and smiled again, apologetically this time. "No. I don't have that kind of gift, but I can feel people's emotional pain and fears and the strength of yours kind of overwhelmed me before I could block you. Sorry. I didn't mean to violate you. It won't happen again."

Dean smiled back. "It's okay. Since you saved my life and all I guess I can cut you some slack – this time."

Miriam laughed. "Thanks a lot."

Dean grinned. "You're welcome."

There was another brief silence. A lot more comfortable this time.

"So, where's Billy?"

Miriam put the dishrag on the tap and poured herself a cup of coffee before sitting down at the table. "He went down to the shop to finish some paperwork, but he will be back any minute now."

"Okay. I think I'll wait for him outside. If that's okay with you?"

"Just go on."

Billy rounded the corner of the house and immediately spotted the shadow of a man sitting on the front step. He sighed lightly, knowing it was Dean and praying he wouldn't ask too many or too difficult questions just yet.

"Hi," he said and sat down beside Dean.

"Hi," Dean answered and looked up. "It's coffee in the kitchen if you want some."

Billy shook his head. "Nah, I'm good. So... how are you? You feeling okay? No after-effects from the electrocution or anything?"

"No," Dean replied bitterly. "The faith healer put that on someone else, remember? That someone didn't make it, though."

Billy sighed. This was definitely a scar and a guilt that Dean could do without, but Miriam said it was all part of bigger plan and necessary for the things about to come. Dean couldn't die yet, so actions had been taken to make sure he'd survive, but he couldn't tell Dean that, not right now and probably never. All he could do was to hope that Dean would understand and accept the whole thing eventually, although he seriously doubted it. John, and some of Sam's actions over the years, had taught Dean that he was replaceable and that wasn't a lesson Dean was going to forget anytime soon. Despite Billy's best efforts.

"I wanted to come... Just to... I don't know... offer support or something... but Miriam said there was no need, that you would be fine and that it was better that I stayed... She's usually right so..."

Dean looked up at him, a sea of emotions flickering over his face. "But you would have come to get Sam, right? I mean, if things hadn't worked out. You would have taken care of him, right?"

"Of course I had, and if Miriam had had just the slightest doubt you wouldn't make it, I'd have been there, all the way."

Dean nodded slowly. "Thanks."

Billy didn't answer, just nodded mutely in return.

The sat in silence for a while, and although Billy was convinced that Dean was physically okay, he seriously started to worry about his mental state. He looked just as desperate and tired as Sam, and Billy knew he needed to get Dean to talk, to voice his fears, but before he could think of a way to approach the subject, Dean spoke. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Watch them suffer through these damn visions day out and day in without going insane? I mean, Sammy, he's my brother and I'm barely sane. I can't imagine how it would feel if it was my kid."

Billy sighed. "I don't know. It's a part of my life, you know? Kind of always have been. Miriam has had them since she was twelve and so has Sean. It's just another thing to deal with. I try not to dwell too much about it. Trying to take things in stride, offer Miriam some strength if she needs, trying to fix the things she sees."

"You can ease Miriam's pain with your strength? How?"

Billy shrugged. "Don't really know. I just know that sometimes it helps her if she can touch me. She says she borrows some strength from me." He shrugged again. "I really don't know. But it doesn't matter as long as she's okay."

Dean nodded knowingly. "So taking things in stride and let them touch you if they need to?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"I can do that," Dean said determinately.

Billy nodded. "Of course you can. But, Dean...," Dean looked up at him, "...they don't usually hurt as bad as Sam's does. And for the record, I think he's more your kid than your brother."

"Why does everything have to be worse for him?" Dean asked angrily, totally ignoring Billy's last statement.

Billy eyed him carefully. "They hurt everybody in the beginning. It gets better once they learn to handle them, and Miriam says that the reason Sam is hurting so bad, and getting sick, is because he's fighting his abilities. It will get a lot better when he learns to accept them and deal with them, and Miriam and Sean will help him with that."

"God, I hope so," Dean murmured.

There was another silence and then Dean asked, "So... why all those kids?"

Billy smiled. "They are my pride and joy. My reason. The reason to be careful and keep fighting. The reason to get up in the morning. The reason to everything – them and Miriam."

Dean nodded again, like he could totally understand what Billy meant, and Billy knew he did. Sam was to Dean what Miriam and the kids were to Billy. "I get that, but why so many?"

Billy grinned. "What can I say? If you're a real man..."

Dean laughed. "You keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel good."

They sat in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes before Dean asked, "Can Hannah really take away physical pain?"

Billy looked surprised. "How did you know?"

"She tried to do it for Sam earlier, but Miriam didn't let her. She said he was too powerful for her, that he would hurt her. Why would he hurt her?"

Billy rubbed his face. "Yes, she can. And I don't know, but if Miriam says so, it's true. She knows those things, but my guess is that it's the force in his pain that would hurt her, not Sam himself."

Dean nodded. It made sense. "So... is she a psychic, too?"

"No, at least not like Miriam, Sam and Sean."

"How can you be so sure?"

"The fire demon didn't come for her."

"Has he come for any of the other kids?"

Billy shook his head. "No, only Sean."

"So where do Hannah's powers come from?"

Billy sighed wearily. "No one knows. Not even Miriam. But she was very sick when she was little. We didn't think she'd make it. Miriam thinks she might have developed them then..."

"Like some reversed curse, or something?"

"Maybe."

"So basically you have three freaks in your family?"

Billy laughed. "That I know of, yeah."

Dean patted Billy's shoulder and said mockingly, "I'm so sorry, man."

Billy looked amused. "Well, freaks or not, they're not half as annoying as some of my friends."

Dean didn't answer, just grinned. But he looked slightly more relaxed, and Billy could tell that the light-hearted teasing made him feel better. But Billy wasn't exactly surprised. Humor had always been Dean's way to deal with scary situations or things that didn't make sense or threaten to overwhelm him.

Billy yawned, and he realized it was getting late. He patted Dean's shoulder and said, "I'm gonna hit the sack. It's getting late and it's gonna be a long day tomorrow."

Dean nodded and stood up as well. "Okay, but I need to ask you one more thing."

"Shoot."

"Sean getting all stiff and formal, calling Sam sir. What was that all about?

Billy took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He had hoped that Dean wouldn't have asked that just yet since the answer would only lead to more questions, questions he couldn't answer just yet, not until Miriam had talked to them all tomorrow. But he knew Dean would take it as mistrust if he refused to answer. So he took a deep breath and looked seriously at Dean.

"That was a soldier meeting his commander for the first time."

Dean just stared at him. "Come again?"

"You heard me, and I know it doesn't make sense and that you have a thousand questions to ask, but that will have to wait. Miriam will explain it all to you tomorrow. But now we all need some sleep."

"You expect me to sleep after you drop shit like this on me? Damn it, Billy. Sammy didn't even want to be a solider, how the hell could he be a commander?"

"Tomorrow, Dean."

"But…"

"Tomorrow," Billy repeated firmly and went inside the house.

TBC...


End file.
